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Kiwi Boy
High Emperor
Joined: 03 Jan 2003
Posts: 1086
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quote:
Originally posted by Ozymandias
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
Great. Just inspired me to do an experiment with my next door's cat! For the love of science!  |
Thu Aug 26, 2004 4:44 pm |
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Patriot
Small Tiger
Joined: 31 May 2004
Posts: 1421
Location: Athens,Greece |
quote:
Originally posted by Neo_Genesis
Short
Pointless
Annoying
Messages.
that is the real meaning of spam 
Or stupit
Pointless
Anoying
Messages
_________________
(Firefox_Mythos)(Παντος)Reaperfox(Ρουβαλης)Tezafox Katsaridoktono(Ντουσικος)Che(Ταγαρης)Crusader(nokos)shadowfox(Μηχελης)aquafox(Στελιος)thunderfox_gomos(Γιωργος) |
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Thu Aug 26, 2004 10:39 pm |
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Patriot
Small Tiger
Joined: 31 May 2004
Posts: 1421
Location: Athens,Greece |
Posted by Kiwi boy:Great. Just inspired me to do an experiment with my next door's cat! For the love of science!
What  leave the cat alone or I'll come there and do the experiment with you   When greenpiece learns about this. 
_________________
(Firefox_Mythos)(Παντος)Reaperfox(Ρουβαλης)Tezafox Katsaridoktono(Ντουσικος)Che(Ταγαρης)Crusader(nokos)shadowfox(Μηχελης)aquafox(Στελιος)thunderfox_gomos(Γιωργος) |
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Thu Aug 26, 2004 10:43 pm |
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Neo_Genesis
The Assassin
Joined: 10 Aug 2003
Posts: 3050
Location: The Netherlands |
(plz don't double post)
heh, like greenpeace cares about one cat  ... just make sure you clean the floor when finished
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Always wondering how it would be... |
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Thu Aug 26, 2004 10:53 pm |
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Patriot
Small Tiger
Joined: 31 May 2004
Posts: 1421
Location: Athens,Greece |
What you agree with him    .I'm going to explplode.
But I shouldn't worry.The cats are smart and fast enough to get away from you.But if you catch the cat (10% that you'll achieve that)you'll end up with a scratch on your chick to remeber that day and stupit action you did.
@Neo:Yes clean the cats $h!t otherwise you'll die from the smell.
_________________
(Firefox_Mythos)(Παντος)Reaperfox(Ρουβαλης)Tezafox Katsaridoktono(Ντουσικος)Che(Ταγαρης)Crusader(nokos)shadowfox(Μηχελης)aquafox(Στελιος)thunderfox_gomos(Γιωργος) |
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Fri Aug 27, 2004 12:20 am |
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Seth
Last Man Standing
Joined: 23 Jan 2002
Posts: 1008
Location: Faerun |
Since we somehow end up talking about cats, here are two old jokes that never fail to bring the smile to your face.
How to Give Your Cat a Pill -
1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were giving baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "Thats a nice kitty." Drop pill into its mouth.
2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp, and pill from under sofa.
3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cat's front paws down with left hand and back paws down with elbow of right arm. Poke pill into its mouth with right forefinger.
4. Retrieve cat from under bed. Get new pill from bottle. (Resist impulse to get new cat.)
5. Again proceed as in 1, except when you have cat firmly cradled in bottle-feeding position, sit down on edge of chair, fold your torso over cat, bring your right hand over your left elbow, open cat's mouth by lifting the upper jaw and pop the pill in - quickly. Since your head is down by your knees, you won't be able to see what you're doing. That's just as well.
6. Leave cat hanging on drapes. Leave pill in your hair.
7. If you're a woman, have a good cry. If you're a man, calm down, have a good cry, and put the shotgun away! (It'll ruin the moulding.)
8. Now pull yourself together. Who's the boss here anyway? Retrieve cat and pill. Assuming position 1, say sternly, "Who's the boss here, anyway?" Open cat's mouth, take pill and...Oooops!
9. This isn't working, is it? Collapse and think. Aha! Those flashing claws are causing the chaos.
10. Crawl to linen closet. Drag back large beach towel. Spread towel on floor.
11. Retrieve cat from kitchen counter and pill from potted plant.
12. Spread cat on towel near one end with its head over long edge.
13. Flatten cat's front and back legs over its stomach. (Resist impulse to flatten cat.)
14. Roll cat in towel. Work fast; time and tabbies wait for no man-or woman.
15. Resume position 1. Rotate your left hand to cat's head. Press its mouth at the jaw hinges like opening the petals of a snapdragon.
16. Drop pill into cat's mouth and poke gently. Voila! It's done.
17. Vacuum up loose fur (cat's). Apply bandages to wounds (yours).
18. Take two aspirins and lie down.
Dear Cat Owner,
Following are instructions on the best way to bathe your cat:
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Don't get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out to grab anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides a "powerwash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
The DOG
_________________
Money - An article which may be used as a universal passport to everywhere except heaven, and as a universal provider of everything except happiness. |
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Fri Aug 27, 2004 1:19 am |
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Neo_Genesis
The Assassin
Joined: 10 Aug 2003
Posts: 3050
Location: The Netherlands |
lol... again, some new ideas crossed my mind
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Always wondering how it would be... |
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Fri Aug 27, 2004 10:47 am |
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-=[Xtr3Me]=-
Village Dweller
Joined: 27 Aug 2004
Posts: 13
Location: The Netherlands |
Lol Like wot? m8
BTw, I'm new here, so ermm...
Haiya Folks! 
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The Object Of War Is Not To Die For Your Country, But To Make The Other Bastard Die For His. |
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Fri Aug 27, 2004 11:05 am |
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Kiwi Boy
High Emperor
Joined: 03 Jan 2003
Posts: 1086
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Welcome, -=[Xtr3Me]=-!
Anyway, I would rather throw a cat into a dishwasher instead of flushing it ...  |
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Fri Aug 27, 2004 5:24 pm |
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X-dANGEr
Unknown Destiny
Joined: 16 Jun 2004
Posts: 2383
Location: The X place |
Welcome, -=[Xtr3Me]=-!
Well, in our country the cats are wanted, and whenever yo see a cat, find a sttone and boom.
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Fri Aug 27, 2004 7:22 pm |
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Neo_Genesis
The Assassin
Joined: 10 Aug 2003
Posts: 3050
Location: The Netherlands |
yo Xtreme... cya in class next week 
well, When I was in Thailand, they hated dogs there... some people just liked to take a dog and cook it 
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Always wondering how it would be... |
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Fri Aug 27, 2004 7:56 pm |
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-=[Xtr3Me]=-
Village Dweller
Joined: 27 Aug 2004
Posts: 13
Location: The Netherlands |
OmG, that is sick.
I just love my dog and I hate it when it goes to the vet....I always have in mind that if the vet does sumthin' wrong, I'll bring him to court
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The Object Of War Is Not To Die For Your Country, But To Make The Other Bastard Die For His. |
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Sat Aug 28, 2004 10:32 am |
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X-dANGEr
Unknown Destiny
Joined: 16 Jun 2004
Posts: 2383
Location: The X place |
In my country when yo see a dog, you kick it and bear the consequences.
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Sat Aug 28, 2004 12:54 pm |
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Patriot
Small Tiger
Joined: 31 May 2004
Posts: 1421
Location: Athens,Greece |
Your country is Johrdan X right?
Seth:And you expect me to laugh with this things .You've thought correct but don't try it on a cat.
@X-treme:Welcome
@X danger:In my country when yo see a dog, you kick it and bear the consequences.
Well, in our country the cats are wanted, and whenever yo see a cat, find a sttone and boom.
I think we must turn those things.It should be like this.
In my country the dogs are wanted,and whenever you see a dog,find a stone and boom.
Well,in our country,the when you see a cat,you kick it and bear the consequences.
Question:What's wrong withh cats in your country X.
_________________
(Firefox_Mythos)(Παντος)Reaperfox(Ρουβαλης)Tezafox Katsaridoktono(Ντουσικος)Che(Ταγαρης)Crusader(nokos)shadowfox(Μηχελης)aquafox(Στελιος)thunderfox_gomos(Γιωργος) |
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Sat Aug 28, 2004 10:48 pm |
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kriksa
Baron of the Court
Joined: 01 Apr 2004
Posts: 328
Location: Estonia |
my neighbor has a cat, its called pirate, since it has only 1 eye and its actualy got an eye-patch.
Why do so many cats loose one eye?? ive seen about a million with only one eye. |
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Sun Aug 29, 2004 9:29 am |
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