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Badger
Stripey Forest Dweller
Joined: 18 Mar 2002
Posts: 924
Location: UK |
| Dungeon Siege 2: This Time it's Personal! |
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How do you know when you’ve had a bad day? I’ll tell you how.
You know you’ve had a bad day when you wake up in the morning as part of a mercenary force assisting in the …erm… acquisition of an Elven artefact from “The Temple of the Coast” when suddenly you find yourself betrayed by none other than Valdis, the big cheese himself, watch your best friend Drevin butchered in front of your very eyes by said treacherous swine and wake up next morning up a tree with a mystical slave collar around your neck! That’s when you know you’ve had a bad day.
Not that things looked in any danger of getting better any time soon. All your belongings stolen from you by the tree living Dryads, including the incredibly ugly medallion which Drevin insisted on giving you for safe keeping. Not to mention being locked in a stout wooden cage with no visible means of escape. Yep, life had definitely been better.
Such then is the situation in which we find our young hero Badger, whose wallowing in self pity is about to be interrupted by a visit from none other than the prison warden.
“You, Prisoner!” she barked. “Stand up when I’m talking to you!”
“Oh make him stand up would you?” She sighed irritably to the guard, who proceeded to poke a nasty looking long wooden stick between the bars.
“Hey watch with the poking!” Complained Badger. “There’s such a thing as the Geneva convention you know.”
“I know not of this G.e.n.e.v.a of whom you speak” Hissed the warden through clenched teeth. “But I suggest that you remain silent whilst I speak, lest the poking move onto more… sensitive regions.”
The nasty smile which appeared on her lips and the direction of her gaze was enough to betray the nature of the particular “regions” she had in mind and Badger decided that it couldn’t do any harm to hear her out after all.
The warden continued. “I am Warden Celia of the Dryad and you are a prisoner of the Dryad people here in the beautiful treetop city of Eirulan.”
“It doesn’t look all that beautiful to me.” Interrupted Badger Sullenly.
“That is because you currently languish in the prison!” Snapped Celia. “You are nothing but a slimy worm and an enemy of the Dryad people. Your eyes are not worthy to behold the true splendour and beauty of Eirulan!”
“It sounds nice.”
“It is nice,” cooed the warden. “Why, on a clear day you can…… ENOUGH!” she bellowed. “I have not come here today as a tourist guide, but to make you an offer.”
Badger leaned a little closer to the bars of the cage. “Please go on” he purred.
“It seems” continued Celia “that some of my brethren believe that you’re not such a bad sort after all. That your slaying of scores of our sisters at The Temple of the Coast was naught but a misunderstanding and the subsequent theft of the sacred artefact not really your fault.”
“Absolutely!” Enthused Badger “In fact if you get to know me I’m sure that…”
“Silence!” yelled the warden. “It is well you know that I am not one of these people and that I consider you a potential threat to the peace and harmony of the beautiful treetop city of Eirulan!” Breathing deeply Celia made a visible effort to calm her self before continuing. “None the less, under pressure from these others I am prepared to make you an offer which you would be wise to consider. There is a task to be performed, something ideally suited to your particular talents.”
“Don’t tell me.” Huffed Badger “Somebody needs a chicken delivering, right?”
“What?”
“No, it’s a sick cow that needs medicine and only I have the courage and fortitude to complete the task in time before said bovine turns up her toes, thus resulting in no milk for the children of the beautiful treetop city of Eirulan.”
“Hold your tongue!” Thundered Celia. “Thinkest thou this is some silly role playing Game?”
“Sorry” murmured Badger apologetically. “Pray continue Warden Celia.”
“The task at hand is far more deadly.” Continued the warden. “We require that you collect some “Sharpening Stones” from the Blacksmiths and swiftly deliver them to the Dryad outpost at the foot of the beautiful treetop city of Eirulan.”
“And if I do this you will free me and return my belongings and ugly medallion?”
“Indeed I shall consider it, but first you must make it to the outpost past the hoards of slavering poisonous beasts!”
“S S Slavering Beasts?” Stuttered Badger.
“Poisonous, slavering beasts!” Corrected Celia. “Hoards of them and all hungry for the unblemished flesh of slimy worms!”
“Very Well!” Snapped Badger straightening his back and rising to his full, if unimposing height. “I shall embark upon your quest. I brave the hoards of poisonous slavering beasts, whereupon I shall return here having proved I’m not such a bad sort and claim back my belongings and my ugly medallion.”
“Very well.” Barked Celia. “Guard.. Release him.”
The mean looking guard produced an unlikely looking key and proceeded to swing back the door of the cage.
“Here take this.” She muttered, handing over a short bow and quiver of arrows. “I’d not see you face the slavering poisonous hoards unarmed.”
“Thankyou” muttered Badger gratefully accepting the offered weapon. “Hey wait! The bowstring is all frayed and some of these arrows are bent!”
“Silence!” Snapped Warden Celia. “Florence here is trying to do something nice for you. I was going to arm you with THIS!” with which she held out a rather forlorn looking over ripe Banana.
“I’ll take the bow if it’s all the same to you.” Injected Badger quickly, slinging the bow and quiver over his shoulders and nodding a hurried thanks to Florence. “Now point me in the direction of the exit if you would, I’ve a quest to embark upon!”
End of part one.
_________________
"Ducks are Dumb!" Badger-2005. Go ahead... quote me! |
Wed Feb 15, 2006 4:04 pm |
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dteowner
Shoegazer
Joined: 21 Mar 2002
Posts: 7570
Location: Third Hero of Erathia |
"End of part one" implies there's to be a part two. Where's it at? You've had a couple hours to play and write. What's the hold up? 
_________________
=Proud Member of the Non-Flamers Guild=
=Benevolent Dictator, X2/X3 and Morrowind/Oblivion Forums=
Sorry. No pearls of wisdom in this oyster.
RIP Red Wings How 'Bout Dem Cowboys! |
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Wed Feb 15, 2006 10:40 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
Yay! *claps her hands with glee* The adventures of Badger continue! 
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound=  |
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Tue Feb 21, 2006 3:06 am |
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Badger
Stripey Forest Dweller
Joined: 18 Mar 2002
Posts: 924
Location: UK |
Hi dte,Val and anyone else who enjoyed the first bit 
Where's part two?.........
Sorry to say that after a long struggle with pc problems which seemed finally to be sorted, but have now re emerged in another form. The chances of there being any further additions to this ill fated DS2 tale seem unlikely at best.
The pc has tested my patience to the point where I am on the verge of putting it in a large dustbin. I have truly come to hate the beast and I think it might be time to put away all things “gaming pc” and devote my time to something a little less frustrating and a little more worthwhile.
Yours sadly but finally to po’d to prod at it with this stick anymore.
Badger
_________________
"Ducks are Dumb!" Badger-2005. Go ahead... quote me! |
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Thu Feb 23, 2006 2:31 pm |
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dteowner
Shoegazer
Joined: 21 Mar 2002
Posts: 7570
Location: Third Hero of Erathia |
Say it isn't so!
I find setting a hammer next to the monitor is a nice attitude adjuster for the recalcitrant PC.
_________________
=Proud Member of the Non-Flamers Guild=
=Benevolent Dictator, X2/X3 and Morrowind/Oblivion Forums=
Sorry. No pearls of wisdom in this oyster.
RIP Red Wings How 'Bout Dem Cowboys! |
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Mon Feb 27, 2006 1:06 am |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
No more adventures of the infamous Badger? 
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound= |
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Tue Feb 28, 2006 11:28 pm |
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Badger
Stripey Forest Dweller
Joined: 18 Mar 2002
Posts: 924
Location: UK |
Sad but true Val  The PC is dead and it'll be ..well... a couple of years at least until I am in a position to replace it. On the plus side though I’m sure that my games hobby was rotting my brain! So it’s all for the best then.
At least I still have my laptop So although I can’t play games on it I can still keep up with my emails and such.
Badger
_________________
"Ducks are Dumb!" Badger-2005. Go ahead... quote me! |
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Wed Mar 01, 2006 9:03 am |
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Wulf
The Shepherd
Joined: 20 Sep 2003
Posts: 2312
Location: North/West.England |
Re: Badger...
*On the plus side though I’m sure that my games hobby was rotting my brain! So it’s all for the best then.*
.......................
Maybe a public health warning notice should be put on games packaging...
"Bad games can seriously damage your brain"
(as long as they also include)
"but good quality games can assist to building new worlds through brain stimulation and relaxation so allowing us frail human mortals to refresh our minds to face the new goals and challenges in the real world"
(we cannot allow brainless stripey animals to wander free...Wulf gets his 12 bore shotgun and sets off to the woods to hunt down these monsters....
badgers beware!) 
_________________
Forever aches my wretched soul, for Chromanin locked in that dark hole, though crypted key i've yet to learn, he knows one day i will return. |
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Wed Mar 01, 2006 10:51 am |
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Badger
Stripey Forest Dweller
Joined: 18 Mar 2002
Posts: 924
Location: UK |
Ahhhhh, no sight quite like a Wulf stumbling through the forest in the morning followed by 12 large wild pigs! You did say there were 12 Boar right?
Badger
_________________
"Ducks are Dumb!" Badger-2005. Go ahead... quote me! |
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Thu Mar 02, 2006 9:13 am |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
I actually heard the rimshot after that one. 
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound= |
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Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:46 pm |
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Badger
Stripey Forest Dweller
Joined: 18 Mar 2002
Posts: 924
Location: UK |
I didn't hear it Val, I was too busy counting the tumbleweeds.
_________________
"Ducks are Dumb!" Badger-2005. Go ahead... quote me! |
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Sat Mar 25, 2006 11:23 am |
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