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dteowner
Shoegazer
Joined: 21 Mar 2002
Posts: 7570
Location: Third Hero of Erathia |
| Message in a space fuel bottle |
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That damn Saya!
So the skirt tells me we're going to take a stroll thru a Xenon sector on the way to Nyana's Hideout. Tells me to go fast and furious (women usually hassle a guy for going too fast, but not this one  ) and hit the gate. So we enter the sector.
There's Xenon ships all over the place. M1's, M2's, M3's, and even a couple M5's thrown in to buzz around our heads. Sweet little Saya heads straight for the north gate. Now, being a manly man, I am fully capable of reading a map. With the most brief of glances at the sector layout, it was obvious the poor girl wasn't too smart. While a slightly longer "follow the edge" course would be practically unopposed, the straight line approach would take her directly thru a bare minimum of 2 M1's and 3 M2's. Now, judging from her "standard spacesuit", Saya is pretty skillful at squeezing into tight spots, but I'm thinking this is going to be pretty tough for her to pull off.
There comes a time in every man's life when he's got to make an important decision. On one hand, you have the correct path. On the other, you can follow the hot chick straight into hell. Now, as a general rule, most gents will don their shining armor and mount the snow-white steed and hope for a cool breeze. Nay, chivalry is not dead and nothing makes it stand at attention like a nice piece of, ummm, errr, moving on!
Now, as you might know by now, I am anything but "most gents". I've watched our little Saya, and I don't think she can be killed by mere Xenon and Khaak. I, on the other hand, find it remarkably easy to get killed. Did I mention that my fighting computer is on the fritz? Oh yes, spilled my tumbler of space fuel right into the electronics, I did. So, just to make sure I get a good "degree of difficulty rating" from the Paranid judge, I've taken up honest-to-goodness piloting. Now, for those of you keeping score at home, here's the lay of the land. Me: fragile, toddler-level pilot, keenly aware of my mortality Saya: invulnerable and stupid to boot. But she's hot...
Bugger the babe, I want to survive!
So off she goes into the maelstrom, while I skulk along the edges of the sector. It's a close call, but I make it to the north gate without taking any damage. That M2 certainly made the effort, and thru my video enhancement goggles I could see the Xenon captain giving me the one-finger salute as I disappeared thru the gate. I figure Saya will pop thru soon enough and I'll only have to listen to her bitch at me for a minute or two. If she's dumb enough to take on the Xenon Armada, she can't blame me, right? So I wait for a while. And I go kill a lone Khaak M3 to fill time so Saya can get that cute caboose in gear.
I find myself wondering, "Where is that woman?"
{to be continued}
_________________
=Proud Member of the Non-Flamers Guild=
=Benevolent Dictator, X2/X3 and Morrowind/Oblivion Forums=
Sorry. No pearls of wisdom in this oyster.
RIP Red Wings How 'Bout Dem Cowboys! |
Wed Mar 24, 2004 8:31 am |
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Dhruin
Stranger In A Strange Land
Joined: 20 May 2002
Posts: 1825
Location: Sydney, Australia |
Great description, dte!  Stupid woman...
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Editor @ RPGDot |
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Wed Mar 24, 2004 9:36 am |
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corwin
On the Razorblade of Life
Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Posts: 8376
Location: Australia |
I told her I'd take the long route around the Xenon sector. I'm even more of a coward that you are. Mind you, it'll be a LONG time before I rejoin the plot.
_________________
If God said it, then that settles it!
I don't use Smileys, I use Emoticons!!
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Wed Mar 24, 2004 9:54 am |
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EverythingXen
Arch-villain
Joined: 01 Feb 2002
Posts: 4342
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A clip should have played showing you exiting together. If this did not happen the mission is buggered. Fly back into the gate and see if she's still there and wait for her to hit the gate. If she's not there anymore fly through the gate again... and if a clip doesn't play reload.
Being unmanly isn't rewarded. Though I've simply jumped from 18 Billion to Scale Plate Green and triggered the plot (she was nowhere in sight but the clip had her following my nicely through the gate... her teeny tiny M3 snuggled up against my M6 Nemesis).
Invulnerable or not, I found myself positioning my Nemesis between her and capital ships, absorbing hundreds of thousands of damage on her behalf. She made it through unscathed and I racked up a few dozen kills (including a few M2s that got in my way.)
_________________
Estuans interius, Ira vehementi
"The old world dies and with it the old ways. We will rebuild it as it should be, MUST be... Immortal!"
=Member of the Nonflamers Guild=
=Worshipper of the Written Word= |
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Wed Mar 24, 2004 5:01 pm |
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dteowner
Shoegazer
Joined: 21 Mar 2002
Posts: 7570
Location: Third Hero of Erathia |
{when we last left our hero...}
So I'm starting to get a bit worried about the little lady. What if it turns out she's not invulnerable? I'm thinking Nikkonofune (what the heck is "Nikkonofune"?) isn't going to last long against the Xenon Armada. My instinct for self-preservation is strong, but I've invested time and money in this hottie. Broiled maja snails, nostrop oil flambe, and bootleg space fuel at the corner table at Che Rhonkar, and let me tell you that Split Maitre Dee doesn't wipe his own bum without getting a 20 under the table. Heck, I even took Saya to the premiere of "Star Wars Episode 73: Yoda's Teladi Uncle" and let me tell you that set me back a ton of credits.
Gritting my teeth, I hurl myself back thru the gate to go rescue my damsel in distress.
In case you were wondering, the Xenon Armada hasn't gotten any smaller, and Simple Saya is still flailing around in the middle of the warzone.
I head over toward her, dodging kisses of death from the M2's. With my enhancement goggles, I see a familiar face on the deck of one M2. The captain points at me, laughs, and makes whipping motions with his arm. He's a man; he knows our shame. I start to wonder why the M1's aren't shooting me as I zip by. So I point my scanner at one. Imagine my surprise- no weapons and slow as a slug. Ooooo.
Now, my friends, there's very little that will turn a man away from a hottie. Indiscriminate slaughter just happens to be one of those things. Bragging rights is another. I've heard of this pilot Xen that swats entire Xenon sectors before brunch and I'm getting a bit of an inferiority complex. Sure, I'm one single ship and I can't fly worth a hoot but imagine how nice a charred captain's chair from a Xenon M1 would look in my trophy room.
I pick out an M1 that's on the outside of the melee and amble up for a broadside. I yell "Welcome Wagon!" and unleash ion disruptor fury. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. I've got him down to about 1/4 shields when my poor little Nova gasps for breath. Yarg! Recharge ya scurvy weapon! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. His shields recharge ever so slightly slower than my weapons, so I figure that I should have him right where I want him in about 1.6 hours. Now, the smart man would realize that no man exists in a vacuum, but I'm kinda busy with my bloodlust.
I probably should have noticed the M2 coming up behind me. It's not like something that big can hide. But I am agile. See dte scamper. See dte use his strafe drive. I turn around, hoping to zip right past the M2.
I can see Captain Xenon standing on his bridge smiling as he does his best impression of Napoleon. He bumps into me, driving me into the M1 I was so recently tormenting. He blows me a kiss as he turns me into a Nova sandwich.
No man exists in a vacuum. Thanks to our little Saya, I'm going to prove it.
_________________
=Proud Member of the Non-Flamers Guild=
=Benevolent Dictator, X2/X3 and Morrowind/Oblivion Forums=
Sorry. No pearls of wisdom in this oyster.
RIP Red Wings How 'Bout Dem Cowboys! |
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Wed Mar 24, 2004 5:30 pm |
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dteowner
Shoegazer
Joined: 21 Mar 2002
Posts: 7570
Location: Third Hero of Erathia |
quote:
Originally posted by EverythingXen
A clip should have played showing you exiting together.
Not sure why the clip didn't fire that time, but it popped right up after my reload.
_________________
=Proud Member of the Non-Flamers Guild=
=Benevolent Dictator, X2/X3 and Morrowind/Oblivion Forums=
Sorry. No pearls of wisdom in this oyster.
RIP Red Wings How 'Bout Dem Cowboys! |
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Wed Mar 24, 2004 5:35 pm |
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EverythingXen
Arch-villain
Joined: 01 Feb 2002
Posts: 4342
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I've repeatedly tried to get Xenon capital ships to crash into each other like the Star Destroyers did when chasing the Millenium Falcon. Sadly the robots are too good at piloting for such a tactic.
_________________
Estuans interius, Ira vehementi
"The old world dies and with it the old ways. We will rebuild it as it should be, MUST be... Immortal!"
=Member of the Nonflamers Guild=
=Worshipper of the Written Word= |
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Wed Mar 24, 2004 5:44 pm |
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dteowner
Shoegazer
Joined: 21 Mar 2002
Posts: 7570
Location: Third Hero of Erathia |
Says you... Unfortunately, the end game video kicked in before the ships got together. Somewhere in Xenon 347, there's an M1 with bits of Nova pancaked into its side.
_________________
=Proud Member of the Non-Flamers Guild=
=Benevolent Dictator, X2/X3 and Morrowind/Oblivion Forums=
Sorry. No pearls of wisdom in this oyster.
RIP Red Wings How 'Bout Dem Cowboys! |
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Wed Mar 24, 2004 5:50 pm |
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Lintra
Elf Friend
Joined: 23 Apr 2002
Posts: 9448
Location: Bermuda, the triangle place with SANDY BEACHES |
Thanks for that dte. I am currently functioning on less that 4 hours of sleep and am getting a little punchy right about now.
Then I read this story  No, this deserves a 
Thanks so much. I really needed that!
_________________
=Member of The Nonflamers' Guild=
=Just plain clueless= |
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Wed Mar 24, 2004 7:08 pm |
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dteowner
Shoegazer
Joined: 21 Mar 2002
Posts: 7570
Location: Third Hero of Erathia |
My pleasure. Part one was written about 2:30am, so I was a bit loopy myself. I decided to split the tale into two parts before I collapsed. Tackled part two bright and early this morning (ignore the post time, there was a big time gap between the writing and the proofing/posting), so I wasn't much improved.
And now for the bragging!
Sure, Xen can win the game and run rampant thru the universe, but I can get squashed between two big ol' Xenon ships. So there! 
_________________
=Proud Member of the Non-Flamers Guild=
=Benevolent Dictator, X2/X3 and Morrowind/Oblivion Forums=
Sorry. No pearls of wisdom in this oyster.
RIP Red Wings How 'Bout Dem Cowboys! |
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Wed Mar 24, 2004 10:03 pm |
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corwin
On the Razorblade of Life
Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Posts: 8376
Location: Australia |
I can vouch for the 2:30 time too, I was there. Great story Dte, I really enjoyed it.
_________________
If God said it, then that settles it!
I don't use Smileys, I use Emoticons!!
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Thu Mar 25, 2004 8:21 am |
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Badger
Stripey Forest Dweller
Joined: 18 Mar 2002
Posts: 924
Location: UK |
Great stuff dte. Badger wants more though...hop to it!
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"Ducks are Dumb!" Badger-2005. Go ahead... quote me! |
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Thu Mar 25, 2004 12:16 pm |
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Cm
Sentinel of Light
Joined: 26 Jan 2003
Posts: 5209
Location: Missouri USA |
These are the stories of legends Dte. And why I bought the game and a new hard drive. It came yesterday, but I may have to wait until weekend to mess with installing it. Hopefully I'll know first hand what you are talking about soon. Keep um coming.
_________________
=Member of the Nonflamers Guild=
=Member of Worshippers of the Written Word=
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Mark Twain
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Thu Mar 25, 2004 5:08 pm |
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corwin
On the Razorblade of Life
Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Posts: 8376
Location: Australia |
Glad the games finally arrived for you CM, now we can look forward to your tales as well!!
_________________
If God said it, then that settles it!
I don't use Smileys, I use Emoticons!!
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Fri Mar 26, 2004 7:19 am |
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dteowner
Shoegazer
Joined: 21 Mar 2002
Posts: 7570
Location: Third Hero of Erathia |
I think I'm getting the hang of this combat stuff. As long as I'm careful and don't allow myself to get gang-tackled, I can handle anything from M3 down. I thought I'd visit President's End just to test my arrogance and I cleaned it out. 2 clusters with an M3 and about a dozen M5's each. I've gone pirate hunting in Atreus' Clouds and Ore Belt, and even captured a couple TS's. Haven't had a chance to joust a pirate Orinoco yet- haven't found one far enough away from civilization that I feel safe using my ion disruptors.
Hey, I was looking at my ship list and it appears that most of the M6's can't use ion disruptors. That's got to change your tactics a bit... Other than the chance to jump up to 125MW shields, why would you want to buy an M6? Combat has got to be quite a bit more hairy when you can't strip a guy's shields in a couple seconds.
_________________
=Proud Member of the Non-Flamers Guild=
=Benevolent Dictator, X2/X3 and Morrowind/Oblivion Forums=
Sorry. No pearls of wisdom in this oyster.
RIP Red Wings How 'Bout Dem Cowboys! |
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Mon Mar 29, 2004 3:43 am |
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