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| What do you think? |
| Wow! Thas real far out bro! |
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30% |
[ 4 ] |
| Eh, pretty good. |
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30% |
[ 4 ] |
| Its ok, but needs some work. |
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30% |
[ 4 ] |
| Im not to fond of it myself. |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| Wow! What a peice of crap! |
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7% |
[ 1 ] |
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| Total Votes : 13 |
Knarnak
Keeper of the Gates
Joined: 01 May 2005
Posts: 109
Location: Illinois |
One man forty, but not too old...
Holds the secrets that unfold...
One man forty, but not too old...
Kept the things he should have sold...
One man forty, but not too old...
Stole The Keepers enchanted gold...
One man forty, but not too old...
Sat around and aged as mold...
These are tales of the told...
One man forty but not too old.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
you guys/gals like? its quite old but i figured that it was time that i shared it with sum one
lemme know what you guys think....i still dont have a name for it, but im workin on it....
thanks again!
-porter
_________________
"Lord below, your abysmal horrors we call forth. Awaken! Rise up and cleanse this earth with fire." -T.B.D.M.
"You are not crazy if you talk to yourself. You are only crazy if you talk back..." -?
"Your mouth is full...full of disease. And yet, I still want to pull your teeth." -Knarnak |
Mon Jun 06, 2005 4:24 am |
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titus
Survivor of Hell
Joined: 03 Aug 2003
Posts: 778
Location: Standing at the Hell mouth |
actually it is real good, but I didn't choose the first time because that is not the kind of poem that speaks to my heart, it doesn't have the feeling I like so much but it is good if you like those kind of poems 
I write poems from time to time myself 
if you want to read one of them pm me
Keep up the good work and post more of your work plzzzz 
_________________
Want to become a vampire? a warrior in the battle between vampires and werewolves?
http://monstersgame.nl/?ac=vid&vid=12007139 |
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Mon Jun 06, 2005 2:27 pm |
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Kamahl
King of Spam
Joined: 29 Apr 2005
Posts: 1668
Location: Slovenia-Ljubljana |
Its quite good and the name of the song could be an old man or something
_________________
Destroy the dark side, we will
De duistere zijde vernietigen, we zullen
Uničili temno stran, bomo mi
die dunkle Seite zerstören, wir sollen |
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Mon Jun 06, 2005 3:17 pm |
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Knarnak
Keeper of the Gates
Joined: 01 May 2005
Posts: 109
Location: Illinois |
you guys have made me happy n for that i thank you...
keep the comments up and i will return with more work later tonight...
once again thanks peepz fer bringing joy to my heart!
-porter
_________________
"Lord below, your abysmal horrors we call forth. Awaken! Rise up and cleanse this earth with fire." -T.B.D.M.
"You are not crazy if you talk to yourself. You are only crazy if you talk back..." -?
"Your mouth is full...full of disease. And yet, I still want to pull your teeth." -Knarnak |
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Mon Jun 06, 2005 5:17 pm |
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Kamahl
King of Spam
Joined: 29 Apr 2005
Posts: 1668
Location: Slovenia-Ljubljana |
well from this we can see that most of the poems that rhym have allways the same ending of the word just look at the endings of the each line or wut is it called
_________________
Destroy the dark side, we will
De duistere zijde vernietigen, we zullen
Uničili temno stran, bomo mi
die dunkle Seite zerstören, wir sollen |
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Mon Jun 06, 2005 5:25 pm |
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titus
Survivor of Hell
Joined: 03 Aug 2003
Posts: 778
Location: Standing at the Hell mouth |
but a poem doesn't have to rhym always
a poem can be godo even without rhyming in it 
_________________
Want to become a vampire? a warrior in the battle between vampires and werewolves?
http://monstersgame.nl/?ac=vid&vid=12007139 |
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Mon Jun 06, 2005 6:08 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
It's kind of repetative, but it's alright.
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound=  |
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Mon Jun 06, 2005 6:37 pm |
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Kamahl
King of Spam
Joined: 29 Apr 2005
Posts: 1668
Location: Slovenia-Ljubljana |
quote:
Originally posted by titus
but a poem doesn't have to rhym always
a poem can be godo even without rhyming in it
i know that they dont have to rhyme but then if they dont rhyme they shouldnt be called songs
_________________
Destroy the dark side, we will
De duistere zijde vernietigen, we zullen
Uničili temno stran, bomo mi
die dunkle Seite zerstören, wir sollen |
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Mon Jun 06, 2005 7:08 pm |
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titus
Survivor of Hell
Joined: 03 Aug 2003
Posts: 778
Location: Standing at the Hell mouth |
euh he calls it a poem not a song
_________________
Want to become a vampire? a warrior in the battle between vampires and werewolves?
http://monstersgame.nl/?ac=vid&vid=12007139 |
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Mon Jun 06, 2005 8:03 pm |
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Knarnak
Keeper of the Gates
Joined: 01 May 2005
Posts: 109
Location: Illinois |
feedback is super appreciative.....
thank you all so much.....
i got another n ill put it on here later......
once again thanks
-porter
_________________
"Lord below, your abysmal horrors we call forth. Awaken! Rise up and cleanse this earth with fire." -T.B.D.M.
"You are not crazy if you talk to yourself. You are only crazy if you talk back..." -?
"Your mouth is full...full of disease. And yet, I still want to pull your teeth." -Knarnak |
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Tue Jun 07, 2005 2:47 am |
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Kamahl
King of Spam
Joined: 29 Apr 2005
Posts: 1668
Location: Slovenia-Ljubljana |
im still waiting for another song/poem of yours
_________________
Destroy the dark side, we will
De duistere zijde vernietigen, we zullen
Uničili temno stran, bomo mi
die dunkle Seite zerstören, wir sollen |
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Thu Jun 09, 2005 8:11 pm |
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Knarnak
Keeper of the Gates
Joined: 01 May 2005
Posts: 109
Location: Illinois |
I bare mute whitness,
For the emotion.
Emotion that moves,
Moves as the ocean.
Enibriated by the sound,
The sound few know.
Pure and simple,
Pure as a winters snow.
And yet I drift,
Drift as the wood.
But notice the smile,
As any could.
Fulfill the glory,
Yet held by crimson galore.
Devistated by feelings,
I urn for you more and more.
Destiny and fate can swing both ways,
But you must promise,
To stay and stay and stay...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
as you can see, i like to rhyme...
thanks all...
-porter
_________________
"Lord below, your abysmal horrors we call forth. Awaken! Rise up and cleanse this earth with fire." -T.B.D.M.
"You are not crazy if you talk to yourself. You are only crazy if you talk back..." -?
"Your mouth is full...full of disease. And yet, I still want to pull your teeth." -Knarnak |
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Fri Jun 10, 2005 3:09 am |
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Korplem
Swashbuckler
Joined: 23 Dec 2002
Posts: 853
Location: Pearl Harbor, HI |
It could just be that I'm drunk but I actually had to read it a second time to find the rhyming.
_________________
If soot stains your tunic, dye it black. This is vengeance.
-The Prince of Nothing |
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Fri Jun 10, 2005 4:26 am |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
I think this one is better than the first.
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound= |
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Fri Jun 10, 2005 7:21 pm |
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Knarnak
Keeper of the Gates
Joined: 01 May 2005
Posts: 109
Location: Illinois |
i wrote it for my new found love....
new old lady.....
shes great.....
lemme know if y'all wanna hear some more........cuz i got plenty!
hey Korplem, BEER GOOD, FIRE BAD!!! keep it up bro......
thank you Val and im glad you like it
thanks all!
-porter
_________________
"Lord below, your abysmal horrors we call forth. Awaken! Rise up and cleanse this earth with fire." -T.B.D.M.
"You are not crazy if you talk to yourself. You are only crazy if you talk back..." -?
"Your mouth is full...full of disease. And yet, I still want to pull your teeth." -Knarnak |
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Fri Jun 10, 2005 8:50 pm |
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