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Badger
Stripey Forest Dweller
Joined: 18 Mar 2002
Posts: 924
Location: UK |
| In Need of a Brain BioMod! |
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There are some questions or comments that you thank goodness afterward that you never actually got around to asking or making.
A good example of this might be sitting staring woefully at your CD drive when it won’t access your copy of “Invisible War”, then shaking your fist in the air and cursing the distributor for shipping shoddy goods, before wishing him an early breakdown on his homeward journey that evening.
Then exhausted by your tirade, throat raw from screaming and arms leaden from shaking your fists in the air at the injustice of it all, you decide to take the problem to the one place where you know that help will be close at hand. None other that the inner sanctum of the “Deus Ex” forum at the dot.
Feverishly you type your heartfelt plea for answers, a thin film of sweat beginning to bead upon your brow from the friction created by your fingers as they dance their crazed tango across the keyboard.
Finally you sit, digit poised above the “enter” button, the merest gesture away from committing your inner most thoughts to float forever in the worlds Cyber Ocean…. But something holds you back…
What is it? Some spelling mistake that will make you look a fool? An ill considered opinion that once sent will haunt you forever more?
Or perhaps……. It’s the item in bold print at the top of the game box, the one that despite being in plain view the whole time, just now caught your eye………..
DVD Only!!!!!!!!!!!
BUGGER!
So obviously it goes without saying that none of the above ever happened. I don’t know anyone who might have made that mistake, and if I did?.. Well I’d obviously not be telling you lot!
Badger.
PS: The kinder among you will doubtless be concerned that I won’t be able to play this. To those wonderful few I say bless your hearts and happily I do have a DVD drive tucked away on the beige beast.. Just don’t often have to use it  |
Tue Aug 31, 2004 4:17 pm |
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Jaz
Late Night Spook
Joined: 20 Jan 2002
Posts: 9708
Location: RPGDot |
Glad you solved your BrainMod problem, Badger.
Ahhh, there's nothing worse than a DVD drive. It will seriously hamper your career as a disc jockey.
I mean, come on, there's no need to change your single UT2k4 DVD, for example... not once. Where's the fun in that? If you get the CD version, you'll get ten thousand plastic media instead, lots of juggling required, plus you can use them as coasters .
In short: Welcome to the 21st Century!
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Jaz |
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Tue Aug 31, 2004 5:37 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
I'm glad you got your problem fixed.
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound=  |
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Tue Aug 31, 2004 6:41 pm |
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RPG Frog
Blade Runner
Joined: 02 Jan 2004
Posts: 748
Location: the Matrix |
Mr. Badger...
I suggest 3 levels of EMP Damage Biomods and a Samurai Sword. This should in fact wipe the smile from your DVD drive!!!
_________________
Between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the gleaming cities…there was an Age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars…Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand…to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandaled feet. - Robert E. Howard |
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Tue Aug 31, 2004 6:50 pm |
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Badger
Stripey Forest Dweller
Joined: 18 Mar 2002
Posts: 924
Location: UK |
Quote Kengo: “I suggest 3 levels of EMP Damage Biomods and a Samurai Sword. This should in fact wipe the smile from your DVD drive!!!”
Indeed citizen Kengo, The DVD drive is undoubtedly a device brought forth from Satan’s own bottom!
Unperturbed by this shoddy beginning though, I have made great strides within the game and though my adventure is but in its infancy I already find myself a cheat, liar and murderer.
Despatched by my shadowy bosses to bring back evidence of un-gentlemanly goings on in the local nightclub, I find myself with two ways of gaining access to the information.
1/ Utilising a combination of stealth, guile and my handy multi tools, I can Hack, Pick and sneak my way to the prize.
Or
2/ By introducing an unpopular lawyer to my good friend “Mr Pointy” and his associate “Brother Bullet” I can insinuate myself into the good graces of the nightclub owner and thus gain semi legitimate access to the areas I need to search.
Let’s review then….. Method one, sneaking shadow hugging antics which preserve my anonymity as well as securing the safety of any and all innocent bystanders? Or… method two involving extreme violence and murder, yes my friends, murder red in tooth and claw.
Ha! As if there was ever really a choice.
Poised now in front of the maintenance access to the roof of the apartment building which my quarry calls home, I pause, alerted by the sounds of movement I hear from beyond it and opening the door a crack confirms my suspicion. The roof is guarded by a mechanical canine pacing out a relentless circuit around the perimeter.
I like dogs as much as the next bio enhanced man, but this Robo-Rover diverges from your more average mutt, both in its unlikely ability to speak multiple languages and its unnerving and troublesome tendency to greet unauthorised visitors with extended volleys from an automatic machine gun welded between its shoulder blades!
Quickly searching my inventory for either a distracting metal sausage or a can opener, I am disappointed to find neither. But…. This EMP grenade might just fit the bill.
Moments later I pat the head of the sentry’s smoking hulk as I walk by. “Aw.. Fido feel a little tired? Good Boy, you take a nice long nap.”
Finally I’m at my destination, the skylights for the Lawyers apartment. He stands below me unknowingly, walking comfortably around his living room blissfully ignorant of the sudden arrival of death so close at hand.
The skylights are protected by force beams, but some imbecile designer has helpfully placed the control box for them on the roof and at the mercy of potential interlopers and assassins. As I seem to fit into both these categories, I turn my attention to the box which quickly succumbs to my persuasive advances, before returning once again to my vantage point.
Who is the man below me? Does he have a family or loved ones? What are his dreams and aspirations?........... Thankfully none of these questions concern me and with barely more than a whisper my silenced pistol seals his fate with a double tap to the head.
In any event even from here I can smell the stink of corruption wafting up from below. This one was no different from any of the other fat cat plutocrats. Pigs at the trough, living off the back of the millions on the levels below.
My mission is technically over, but wondering about the lifestyle of a man whose privileged lot finds him in these plush surroundings, I drop through the skylight to land soundlessly on the indulgent carpet below.
Immediately I detect a muttering that warns me I’m not alone and I hunker up to a nearby pillar. “This has got to stop!” mumbles the man as he wanders carelessly past my crouched form.
The whispered cough of my pistol spells out its message again and as the mans body crumples to the floor I’m left with two inescapable conclusions. Firstly the lawyer should have invested in a better bodyguard and secondly…. Good Lord but I’m good!
A quick investigation of the apartment reveals various supplies including a Sniper Rifle!
So it was worth dropping in to say hello after all.
Time to go. I’ve a nightclub owner to impress, secrets to find and a report to make before my overlords undoubtedly require me to pay him a visit in the night also.
God I love this job! |
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Wed Sep 01, 2004 10:31 am |
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RPG Frog
Blade Runner
Joined: 02 Jan 2004
Posts: 748
Location: the Matrix |
quote:
Originally posted by Badger
In any event even from here I can smell the stink of corruption wafting up from below. This one was no different from any of the other fat cat plutocrats. Pigs at the trough, living off the back of the millions on the levels below.
Snickers...
you need to keep these updates rolling in as you play the game.
Good Stuff!!!
_________________
Between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the gleaming cities…there was an Age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars…Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand…to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandaled feet. - Robert E. Howard |
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Wed Sep 01, 2004 4:21 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
No one can draw you into a game like the Badger!
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound= |
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Fri Sep 10, 2004 9:36 pm |
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Badger
Stripey Forest Dweller
Joined: 18 Mar 2002
Posts: 924
Location: UK |
 G,g,g,gosh maam  And nobody draws an Avatar like Val! 
I am a bit worried about the degree of imersion required to get into the right mindset though.  Last week I strapped four batteries to our cat in the hopes of creating a feline cyborg house guard for when we we out.
He's a "one job" cat though and had to refuse as he is already gainfully employed as a doorstop. |
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Sat Sep 11, 2004 8:52 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
Why thank you, kind sir! *makes a sweeping bow*
Now if you're going to make a good cyborg attack cat, you might as well go all out. Something like this:
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound= |
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Sun Sep 12, 2004 4:19 am |
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Cm
Sentinel of Light
Joined: 26 Jan 2003
Posts: 5209
Location: Missouri USA |
Well done to both Badger and Val. Badger, your stories are always the best. And Val the art work is great as always. Put you two together and we all get a treat.
_________________
=Member of the Nonflamers Guild=
=Member of Worshippers of the Written Word=
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Mark Twain
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Sun Sep 12, 2004 4:49 am |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
I must admit that the above pic is not of my own creation. I could do better. 
It would be fun to illustrate some of our resident stripy friend's stories though. Although, he always paints such a rich picture with words, that illustrations would just be frosting on the cake.
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound= |
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Sun Sep 12, 2004 5:05 am |
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Badger
Stripey Forest Dweller
Joined: 18 Mar 2002
Posts: 924
Location: UK |
Well we still have a "childrens project" down the road right Val? I definately still have plans regarding the concept. I'm just not ready to have a bash at it yet
I want the writing side done and dusted before I even think about bothering you with art talk. (I know you've had episodes in the past of doing illustrations for projects which consequently don't appear,  I refuse to do that to you!  ) |
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Sun Sep 12, 2004 12:56 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
Sure, take as much time as you like. I'm in no hurry.
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound= |
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Mon Sep 13, 2004 7:46 pm |
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RPG Frog
Blade Runner
Joined: 02 Jan 2004
Posts: 748
Location: the Matrix |
quote:
Originally posted by Val
Why thank you, kind sir! *makes a sweeping bow*
Now if you're going to make a good cyborg attack cat, you might as well go all out. Something like this:
Ahhh...you 2 are cracking me up...both Badgers description of his cat and now this illustration.
_________________
Between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the gleaming cities…there was an Age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars…Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand…to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandaled feet. - Robert E. Howard |
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Mon Sep 13, 2004 11:24 pm |
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