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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
What is the silliest conspiracy theory that you have ever heard? We've all heard some real whoppers. Secret societies controlling the world, the Moon landing never happening, etc. We laugh and roll our eyes at them, but do we ever actually analyse them? Which theory, of all that you've heard, do you think is the silliest?
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Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound=  |
Sun Dec 05, 2004 7:44 pm |
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Kendrik
Thin Blue Line
Joined: 13 Jun 2002
Posts: 550
Location: England |
Oh yes - secret organisations trying to take over the world hah hah how silly ..... not happending ... really nothing to see here (The master says well done Val on this mission of misinformation by the way - keep this up and you will be secured a place on the new ruling council) 
Probably the best I heard was in the early 90's an exfootballer, David Ike stated that the British Royal family were in fact a race of highly advanced lizards who were going to take over the world. Only two problems:
1) I think we would notice the scales/tail
2) If you were really planning to take over the world the British Royals are not really a good starting point - the boy scout movement has more political power
Can't think of any more atm but I'm sure they will be beamed into my brain soon as I'm not wearing my tin foil hat.
Beware the All Seeing Eye (and no I don't mean the one from the Lord of the Rings movies, philistines  )
_________________
"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true."
JAMES BRANCH CABELL
~Member of The Nonflamers' Guild~
~~Champion of the (Unofficial) RPGdot Text Signature Contest 2002~~ |
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Sun Dec 05, 2004 8:14 pm |
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xSamhainx
Paws of Doom
Joined: 11 Sep 2002
Posts: 2192
Location: San Diego |
I'd have to say that my favorite silly Jewish conspiracy theory is the Sex Gum Conspiracy. Yep, those dastardly Jews are at it again, and now making "Sex gum" laced with a female hormone. When chewed by a member of the fair sex, it turns her into an insatiable sex maniac. It also apparently acts as a contraceptive as well, so while women will be shamefully jumping the bones of every man in sight, they will be literally sterile and unable to reproduce. Worse yet, when chewed by young males however, well, lets just say they wont be needing to shave as often and if young enough, maybe never.
Here's an article about it-
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/inatl/mideast/july/28/gum2807.htm
"Why not? This is a war," said Awni Hasham, 58, who owns a furniture company and has traveled often to Israel and abroad. "If they can put a spaceship on Mars, they can make sex chewing gum."
Well tell ya what Awni, I'll give you 5 bucks a stick for that gum='.'=
_________________
“Then away out in the woods I heard that kind of a sound that a ghost makes when it wants to tell about something that's on its mind and can't make itself understood, and so can't rest easy in its grave, and has to go about that way every night grieving.”-Mark Twain |
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Sun Dec 05, 2004 11:17 pm |
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Davo
City Guard
Joined: 03 Sep 2002
Posts: 146
Location: Massachusetts, USA |
I'll relate the silliest conspiracy that I have ever heard in person.
I was waiting for a bus at a major bus station in Boston (Haymarket for any locals tuning in). A short rotund guy with glasses and thinning brown hair asked me if I knew that the Russians were shooting rays through the ground that caused people to set fires to destroy property and destabilize American society. Fate intervened and a slew of fire trucks roared by with sirens and air horns screeching. Being a wise@ss at that time (it was 20 years ago), I said, "You're right, there goes the fire department now. The Russians are at it." He nearly cracked a vertebrae trying to see where the fire trucks were going while I laughed hysterically. He turned, saw me laughing, and gave me one of the dirtiest looks I have ever received.
Epilogue--A few weeks later I saw a guy walking through a drug-infested part of my neighborhood (actually, my whole neighborhood was infested with drugs, but this was a particularly bad area) staring up at the sky with a D-sized battery in his mouth and a strip of tin-foil taped to his forehead. I asume he was trying to use solar power and the power of his mind to charge the battery in his mouth.
I've always wondered whether battery boy was related to the Russian fire guy.
Here's another one that's not a conspiracy, but fits in with the tone of people believing in things that just aren't real. I met this very punked-out guy (mohawk, leather jacket, tatoos, lots of make-up and earrings) at a party about 15 years ago. He began bragging about being nicknamed "Psycho." He told me that everyone called him Psycho, had always called him Psycho, and realized that he had to be called Psycho because he was just so-- psycho. Then he offered to show me his Psycho tattoo. He rolled up his sleeve and showed me a tattoo on his upper arm--only the tattoo said Physco--yes, Physco. I pointed out the mispelling, but he kept telling me that I had it wrong--his nickname was Psycho, not Physco, and that I didn't get it. It was a lot like the scene in Spinal Tap where the band member talks about his amps going to 11 and doesn't understand Rob Reiner's suggestion that he just make his amps 10 setting louder than everyone else's.
_________________
Apologize, v.i. To lay the foundation for a future offense.
Backbite, v.t. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
-- Ambrose Bierce, from The Devil's Dictionary. |
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Mon Dec 06, 2004 1:03 am |
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Amelia
City Guard
Joined: 18 Jun 2004
Posts: 141
Location: Ong's Hat, New Jersey |
Actually David Icke does a lot of good research into royal family histories and blood relations. You can find a lot of good info in his books. His reptile theory is one of the more wacko things he talks about. Supposedly they have the ability to blend in and look relatively human which is why you won't see scales and such. A well trained eye could detect the look and mannerisms of a true reptile. And for weilding power, it's not so much just British royalty but organizations and the royal family that encompasses all the world goverments. Back in the early nineties when he started his work he concentrated mostly on British royalty and worked outwards in connections. He probably has ten or so books now, good stuff.
Personally, I think the reptile theory is purposeful misinformation to keep him looking harmless. It keeps him from getting killed by the subjects that he's researching. Just like you said, reptiles is a silly theory. So why believe anything else he writes about? At most the reptile idea is a metaphor for cold, heartless, power mongering people. Then again, maybe their is some ancient alien reptile race that's pulling the world goverment strings throughout history to control human beings which they use for their energy and other things like inbreeding.. I don't know. Everyone is going to have their interpretation though.
I'd have to say the most silly conspiracy theory that comes to mind at the moment is that there are nazi derros that are living in massive cities built inside the hollow earth, and that at the center are large factories producing huge amounts of poisoned cocaine and LSD which are being shipped up to the American goverment. From where it is given to the American drug smuggling crew and distributed among the users to control them. That one is always a lot of fun though so I speak about it like it's real.
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The real secret of magick is that the world is made of words. And that if you know the words that the world is made of, you can make of it whatever you wish. -Terence Mckenna |
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Wed Dec 08, 2004 1:23 pm |
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Chekote
Where’s my Banana?!?!
Joined: 08 Mar 2002
Posts: 1540
Location: Dont know, looks kind of green |
Sounds like a plot that wouldnt be out of place in Far Cry 2 =0)
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IMHO my opinion is humble |
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Wed Dec 08, 2004 2:37 pm |
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piln
High Emperor
Joined: 22 May 2003
Posts: 906
Location: Leeds, UK |
Neo Nazis who believe that schools and other multicultiral environments will brainwash their children... so they home-school them and only allow them to mix with like-minded people. Can't help feeling there's a flaw in the logic there... |
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Mon Dec 13, 2004 1:27 am |
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Kendrik
Thin Blue Line
Joined: 13 Jun 2002
Posts: 550
Location: England |
quote:
Originally posted by Amelia
Personally, I think the reptile theory is purposeful misinformation to keep him looking harmless. It keeps him from getting killed by the subjects that he's researching. Just like you said, reptiles is a silly theory. So why believe anything else he writes about? At most the reptile idea is a metaphor for cold, heartless, power mongering people. Then again, maybe their is some ancient alien reptile race that's pulling the world goverment strings throughout history to control human beings which they use for their energy and other things like inbreeding.. I don't know. Everyone is going to have their interpretation though.
Hmm see I'll all for Illuminati conspiracy theories but David Icke also suggested that he was the second coming - and has admitted in later years that this may have been a bit of a mistake. Still this does also support your theory. However with many historians in the UK study Royal history it seems abit strange that only a very limited number of people have discovered this secret. I'm assuming he hasn't tried to link this conspiracy to Diana's Death yet (although I fear it has gone through his mind).
On that note, how is Diana's Death still making the news? Seriously why would anybody want her dead she really didn't do anything .......... that people would want her dead for. I mean her life appeared to be Born, Married a Royal, Holiday, Charity Work, Holiday, Affair, Holiday, Holiday, Had Kids, Holiday, Left Charles, Holiday, Died. Not exactly going to make her a target for the New World Order is it? .............. and relax...... ommmmm
Anyway one (other) thing that worries me about soem of the main conspiriacy theories (e.g. NWO, Illuminati) is that many seem to based in Anti-Semitism. Jews have been blamed down the centuries (by Nazis and the Catholic church to name but two) for so many things that this just seems to be the new way of spreadinig hatred.
Personally the biggest threat to our current way of life is drugs. Crime is on the increase because of drugs and there the fear on crime is on the increase (fear is increasing more than crime tbh) and that is why society is willing to embrace conspiracy - it takes the reponsability out of their hands and finds a bad guy.
Hmm sorry this post sotra finished in a different place from where it started.
_________________
"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true."
JAMES BRANCH CABELL
~Member of The Nonflamers' Guild~
~~Champion of the (Unofficial) RPGdot Text Signature Contest 2002~~ |
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Tue Dec 14, 2004 11:05 pm |
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piln
High Emperor
Joined: 22 May 2003
Posts: 906
Location: Leeds, UK |
quote:
Originally posted by Kendrik
...with many historians in the UK study Royal history it seems abit strange that only a very limited number of people have discovered this secret.
Well, they're all reptiles too... obviously 
Incidentally, our current Queen and the rest of the royal family actually, technically, have no claim to the throne... apparently there was debate over whether Edward IV (this is going back a few years now  ) was legitimate (illegitimacy meaning your claim was invalid), and recently a new document was found that lends a lot of weight to this view - I think they even DNA tested remains to make sure, but basically the records prove that Edward IV's "dad" was out of the country for a bloody long time, during which he was conceived. I saw a documentary where they tracked down the descendent of those who really should have ascended the throne, and DNA tested him and his family to make sure they'd found the right folks - and that was him, the guy who should by rights actually be the King of England today. He was born in England with a title, but never agreed with that sort of thing and moved to Australia - he's not a royalist and at the referendum voted for Australia to be a republic! Now that made me lmao!  |
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Wed Dec 15, 2004 12:43 am |
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Darrius Cole
Most Exalted Highlord
Joined: 04 May 2004
Posts: 406
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So, was Edward IV actually a descedent of the royal family?
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Always with you what can not be done. Hear you nothing that I say? - Master Yoda
Only the powerful are free. - Darrius Cole |
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Wed Dec 15, 2004 6:12 pm |
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Amelia
City Guard
Joined: 18 Jun 2004
Posts: 141
Location: Ong's Hat, New Jersey |
quote:
Originally posted by Kendrik
quote:
Originally posted by Amelia
Personally, I think the reptile theory is purposeful misinformation to keep him looking harmless. It keeps him from getting killed by the subjects that he's researching. Just like you said, reptiles is a silly theory. So why believe anything else he writes about? At most the reptile idea is a metaphor for cold, heartless, power mongering people. Then again, maybe their is some ancient alien reptile race that's pulling the world goverment strings throughout history to control human beings which they use for their energy and other things like inbreeding.. I don't know. Everyone is going to have their interpretation though.
Hmm see I'll all for Illuminati conspiracy theories but David Icke also suggested that he was the second coming - and has admitted in later years that this may have been a bit of a mistake. Still this does also support your theory. However with many historians in the UK study Royal history it seems abit strange that only a very limited number of people have discovered this secret. I'm assuming he hasn't tried to link this conspiracy to Diana's Death yet (although I fear it has gone through his mind).
On that note, how is Diana's Death still making the news? Seriously why would anybody want her dead she really didn't do anything .......... that people would want her dead for. I mean her life appeared to be Born, Married a Royal, Holiday, Charity Work, Holiday, Affair, Holiday, Holiday, Had Kids, Holiday, Left Charles, Holiday, Died. Not exactly going to make her a target for the New World Order is it? .............. and relax...... ommmmm
Might as well let those fears blossom because you know Icke couldn't resist a Diana conspiracy! In The Biggest Secret he discusses that Princess Diana was aware that much of House Windsor has reptilian ancestry. The site where she had her accident (read: murder) was an ancient illuminati sacrifical site. The theory was raised the chaffeur was under some sort of mind control and that he drove the vehicle into the thirteenth column as part of a ritualistic sacrifice. He goes much more indepth on Diana in that book. (Let it be known that I don't adhere to this theory.)
quote:
Personally the biggest threat to our current way of life is drugs. Crime is on the increase because of drugs and there the fear on crime is on the increase (fear is increasing more than crime tbh) and that is why society is willing to embrace conspiracy - it takes the reponsability out of their hands and finds a bad guy.
You could write a book on why people subject themselves to conspiracies and I'm sure someone has. I suspect there are many subjective answers to this. Although, I'd have to disagree with your drug/crime supposition. I think that much of drug related crime is more a result of the criminalization of drugs themselves as this has led to the creation of drug syndicates, street dealer etc. In all reality though it's probably many contributing factors that equal the whole not just one inparticular, but this is wandering..
quote:
Well, they're all reptiles too... obviously
Now you're talking!
Really though, I enjoy much appreciation of entertainment, imagination and information (whether dis-, mis- or true) from many conspiraces but most of it doesn't go a long way into living like these are universal. In retrospect, I probably should of made it more clear that I can be very ambigious when it comes to conspiracies in so much that I may speak about them like they're true but it's more speaking about them as if they are true. I choose in the whole to be much more skeptical. (I suspect this is debateable though; I'm not beyond believing things with enough reason/evidence. There's a fine line to walk.)
Interesting bit about the royalty as well. I'll have to look into that.
_________________
The real secret of magick is that the world is made of words. And that if you know the words that the world is made of, you can make of it whatever you wish. -Terence Mckenna |
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Wed Dec 15, 2004 7:49 pm |
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piln
High Emperor
Joined: 22 May 2003
Posts: 906
Location: Leeds, UK |
[edit]
quote:
Originally posted by Darrius Cole
So, was Edward IV actually a descedent of the royal family?
[/edit]
 I'm not the best person to expound on this subject, I've never really been that knowledgeable about the succession of loonies who've perched on England's throne. From what I remember, the wife of the previous king (Edward's supposed father, I think he was one of the Richards) bore two sons (maybe more, but only the first two are important here), Edward and later George. Apparently, at the time there was all manner of rumour-mongering about doubts over Edward's legitimacy and an alleged affair of his mother's, and this recent piece of newly-found documentation seems to indicate that "daddy" Richard was off fighting during the crucial time period in which Edward must have been conceived. The chap Richard's wife was supposedly carrying on with behind his back was a French archer too, which just makes the whole thing even more side-splittingly hilarious IMO.
Anyway, it seems pretty certain that Edward was really the Frenchman's son, not Richard's. And "the rules" state that an illegitimate heir is, in fact, no heir. So the next in line was actually Edward's brother George - according to this new theory, he should have taken the throne rather than Edward, which would have led to a totally different series of crazy royals. But this line that was effectively cheated out of its reign remained close to the royal family for generations afterwards, and affairs between them were pretty hostile more often than not. It was quite an interesting sequence of events, but being the modern short-attention-span videogame junkie I am, I've forgotten the lot.
I'm trying to find some interesting links on the subject, so far the best I can do is:
http://www.channel4.com/history/microsites/H/history/i-m/monarch.html
and
http://www.abc.net.au/brisbane/stories/s1112949.htm
and
http://members.tripod.com/~midgley/abney_hastings.html
The Channel4 show describing all these shennanigans was presented by Tony Robinson, who some of you may know as Baldrick from Blackadder. |
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Wed Dec 15, 2004 8:29 pm |
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Darrius Cole
Most Exalted Highlord
Joined: 04 May 2004
Posts: 406
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So, according to this theory, which does not appear to be incredible at first glance, Richard's wife, Cecily, stole England from him and gave it the archer, Blaybourne's children.
Marrying the wrong woman is death. Stuff like that is why I am DNA testing all my children.
_________________
Always with you what can not be done. Hear you nothing that I say? - Master Yoda
Only the powerful are free. - Darrius Cole |
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Wed Dec 15, 2004 10:15 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
I got it! The Frenchman was the lizard!
Sorry, I just couldn't help myself.
quote:
Originally posted by Kendrik
Oh yes - secret organisations trying to take over the world hah hah how silly ..... not happending ... really nothing to see here (The master says well done Val on this mission of misinformation by the way - keep this up and you will be secured a place on the new ruling council)
Shh! Quit flapping your lips or I'll have Lawanda and her ninja squirrels pay you a visit.
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound= |
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Sat Dec 18, 2004 5:46 am |
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Lintra
Elf Friend
Joined: 23 Apr 2002
Posts: 9448
Location: Bermuda, the triangle place with SANDY BEACHES |
Don't think it counts as the SILLIEST, but it is close:
FDR knew of the coming Pearl Harbor attack days ahead of time, but did not alert the base since he wanted to loose the fleet to fire up the American population. Yeah right.
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=Member of The Nonflamers' Guild=
=Just plain clueless= |
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Tue Dec 21, 2004 2:56 pm |
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