| |
Site Navigation
Main
News
Forums
Games
Games Database
Top 100
Release List
Support Files
Features
Reviews
Previews
Interviews
Editorials
Diaries
Misc
Download
Gallery
Music
Screenshots
Videos
Miscellaneous
Staff Members
Privacy Statement
|
|
|
|
RPG Frog
Blade Runner
Joined: 02 Jan 2004
Posts: 748
Location: the Matrix |
This movie is HORRIBLE! 
If you are expecting the next Gladiator, this is not it.
This is the worst movie I have seen all year. It's so bad, it makes Troy look like an academy-award-winning drama!
_________________
Between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the gleaming cities…there was an Age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars…Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand…to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandaled feet. - Robert E. Howard |
Thu Nov 25, 2004 5:43 pm |
|
|
Secret Agent Lawanda
The last thing you see...
Joined: 23 Oct 2003
Posts: 1041
Location: World of Darkness (LA) |
I totally agree. This movie blows. I was tempted to walk out and demand my money back. Or at least slash that big Alexander poster in the lobby.
_________________
-=Professional Secret Agent=-
Moderator of The Anime and Manga Fan Club |
|
Tue Nov 30, 2004 11:40 pm |
|
|
xSamhainx
Paws of Doom
Joined: 11 Sep 2002
Posts: 2192
Location: San Diego |
Wow, this one is a real blowout for Ollie. He really sank his heart and time into this one, and from the almost universal panning and ridicule it is getting from all sides, it was an utterly futile effort. Movies that dont shoot too high to begin with tend to be spared the more well-aimed and viciously barbed arrows of the elite critics, like a small neighborhood bistro that the snooty culinary critic wouldnt dare even be seen eating at. When people like me or others out here in the peanut gallery say your movie sucks, thats one thing, but when the New York Times starts in, that a whole 'nuther level of low
-"puerile writing, confused plotting, shockingly off-note performances and storytelling that lacks either of the two necessary ingredients for films of this type, pop or gravitas."
And that's one of the nice reviews. I'm a fan of harsh movie reviews myself, I can spend all night reading scathing, hilarious reviews of movies. Maybe it's some sort of quasi-revenge, living vicariously through the pen of Roger Ebert, striking at the heart of the pampered and pouty stars who wouldnt give great movies that I love such as "Ginger Snaps" the time of day. In any case, here are some great reviews of this wonderful catastrophe.
"Alexander the Geek" New York Post-
"..Stone and Farrell end up going too far - their light-in-the-sandals Alexander is often such a simpering, indecisive wuss that it's hard to accept he conquered most of the known world before his mysterious death at the age of 33 in 323 B.C."
"What have I done to make you hate me so?" Olympia asks a teenage Alexander (Farrell looking even more ridiculous with Jolie, who is only one year older than him) in the film's funniest speech - delivered in a Bela Lugosi accent"
ReelViews review-
"To sum up Alexander in three words, I would choose the following: three-hour miscalculation"
**='.'= A trend that I notice in the reviews is that Stone for one reason or another had everyone apparently "picking an accent", thus everything from an Irish Colin to a Transylvanian Angelina was going on in the film.
Says the New York Times in the aforementioned review-
"Mr. Stone repeatedly returns us to Olympias (Angelina Jolie), snakes coiling around her body and chastising her absent son in a bewildering accent, part Yiddishe Mama, part Natasha of "Rocky and Bullwinkle" fame: "You don't write, you don't call, why don't you settle down with a nice Macedonian girl?" or words to that effect."
^^^you might not be able to access this review without login from this link, but you can without the login if you take the link at the bottom of the page and the NYtimes review page from that page of review
**='.'= Also, I gather that the hairstylist wont be doing much more work for Mr Stone, as that is another hilariously recurrent theme.
MovieWeb review-
"Stone’s costume designer eventually lets Farrell down, though, as Alexander evolves into a drunken Jeff Spicoli in India, then morphs into a feather-coifed Sebastian Bach from Skid Row by the time he returns to Babylon."
Boston Globe review
"The new Oliver Stone movie, ''Alexander," is full of brilliant highlights, and they're all in Colin Farrell's hair.
His coif begins a mere flaxen mop, full of life (and sand), as he smolders through the young-adult years of Alexander the Great. Nearly three hours (and 13 years) later, it's gone wild, turned into the mane of both a warrior and certain Camaro owners."
Even the San Francisco Gate has no love for Ollie
excerpts from it's totally San Fran gate titled review-
"OK, Alexander was cute. Was he great? Not in this movie"
"But once Colin Farrell assumes the role, wearing a fluffy blond wig, things take a wrong turn. He looks confused, fuzzy around the eyes. This is not the incisive Alexander who untied the Gordian knot by cutting it with his sword. This is a fellow who'd look more at home on the cover of Tiger Beat magazine. "
"The more people Alexander kills, the longer and fluffier Farrell's wigs get. At times, Farrell is so unconvincing as a hero that one wonders if "Alexander" is some veiled hatchet job by Stone, who, after all, has made some notable anti-war movies. But no. Every time Alexander talks about "freeing the people of the world" -- freeing them from being alive? -- the soundtrack pitches in with inspiring music.(lol! ) "Alexander" is not hatchet job. It just doesn't make its case."
and of course on the "first gay action hero" thing-
"In between hugging Hephaistion, Alexander finds time to marry an Indian woman, Roxane, played by Rosario Dawson. This leads to a hilarious wedding-night sequence, which begins with Roxane walking in on Hephaistion and Alexander and asking her new husband, "You luff heem?!""
Heres a page with several reviews, some of them on this post. If you cant get the Nytimes from the above link, get it off the page below-
http://movies.yahoo.com/shop?d=hv&id=1808402866&cf=critic
_________________
“Then away out in the woods I heard that kind of a sound that a ghost makes when it wants to tell about something that's on its mind and can't make itself understood, and so can't rest easy in its grave, and has to go about that way every night grieving.”-Mark Twain |
|
Wed Dec 01, 2004 7:11 am |
|
|
RPG Frog
Blade Runner
Joined: 02 Jan 2004
Posts: 748
Location: the Matrix |
quote:
Originally posted by xSamhainx
I'm a fan of harsh movie reviews myself, I can spend all night reading scathing, hilarious reviews of movies. Maybe it's some sort of quasi-revenge, living vicariously through the pen of Roger Ebert, striking at the heart of the pampered and pouty stars who wouldnt give great movies that I love such as "Ginger Snaps" the time of day. In any case, here are some great reviews of this wonderful catastrophe.
Well sammy, even though I hate this movie...I absolutely love reading the reviews. They crack me up! My favorite quote from a professional review would have to be....
"Alexander often seems a couple of heartbeats away from turning into a gay porno film."
-- Jeffrey Westhoff, NORTHWEST HERALD (CRYSTAL LAKE, IL)
www.rottentomatoes.com for more mirth-inducing Alexander reviews!!!
_________________
Between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the gleaming cities…there was an Age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars…Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand…to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandaled feet. - Robert E. Howard |
|
Wed Dec 08, 2004 6:36 pm |
|
|
Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
Well, I'm glad I chose not to go see this one.
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound=  |
|
Sat Dec 18, 2004 4:54 am |
|
|
erik
High Emperor
Joined: 08 Sep 2003
Posts: 477
Location: The Netherlands |
Because all those bad reviews i decided to go watch this movie, just to check if those critics were right.
And i must say, it wasn't the best movie i saw in the last year, Olver stone took far to much time to introduce some miner things, which resulted in giving too litte time to the plot.
Next to that almost all details (clothing, armory and weapons) were not authentical.
_________________
Fear is a dangerous thing: fear leads to hate and hate leads to suffering - Yoda
Member of the Sports Fans Club
Member of the Nonflamers' Guild |
|
Wed Jan 26, 2005 11:32 am |
|
|
|
Goto page Previous 1, 2
All times are GMT. The time now is Mon Apr 08, 2019 5:49 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
