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Cm
Sentinel of Light
Joined: 26 Jan 2003
Posts: 5209
Location: Missouri USA |
| Say Happy Birthday Dhruin!! |
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Happy belated birthday Korplem. Our resident birthday sender seems to be mia so I will fill in for this one. And to everyone having a BD today as well!!!
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=Member of the Nonflamers Guild=
=Member of Worshippers of the Written Word=
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Mark Twain
Last edited by Cm on Fri Apr 02, 2004 3:04 pm; edited 4 times in total |
Tue Mar 16, 2004 5:02 pm |
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Roqua
High Emperor
Joined: 02 Sep 2003
Posts: 897
Location: rump |
Happy Brithday Korplem.
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Vegitarian is the Indian word for lousey hunter. |
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Tue Mar 16, 2004 7:13 pm |
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Korplem
Swashbuckler
Joined: 23 Dec 2002
Posts: 853
Location: Pearl Harbor, HI |
Thanks guys. 
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If soot stains your tunic, dye it black. This is vengeance.
-The Prince of Nothing |
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Tue Mar 16, 2004 7:54 pm |
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Dhruin
Stranger In A Strange Land
Joined: 20 May 2002
Posts: 1825
Location: Sydney, Australia |
Happy Birthday, Korplem.
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Editor @ RPGDot |
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Tue Mar 16, 2004 9:17 pm |
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Secret Agent Lawanda
The last thing you see...
Joined: 23 Oct 2003
Posts: 1041
Location: World of Darkness (LA) |
Happy Birthday!
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-=Professional Secret Agent=-
Moderator of The Anime and Manga Fan Club |
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Tue Mar 16, 2004 9:53 pm |
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goshuto
Wanderer
Joined: 29 May 2002
Posts: 1142
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Happy birthday! 
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"Tree stuck in cat. Firemen baffled."--Simcity 3K
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."--Soren Aabye Kierkegaard |
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Tue Mar 16, 2004 10:29 pm |
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MageofFire
Griller of Molerats
Joined: 03 Oct 2003
Posts: 1594
Location: Monastery of Innos |
Happy Birthday!!  How old are you?
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OMG! WTF?! MONKEYS!!!!
=Member of numerous usergroups=
=Active in none of them=
Mediocreties, I absolve you! |
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Wed Mar 17, 2004 1:36 am |
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Gorath
Mostly Harmless
Joined: 03 Sep 2001
Posts: 6327
Location: NRW, Germany |
Happy Birthday!
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Webmaster GothicDot |
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Wed Mar 17, 2004 2:28 am |
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Korplem
Swashbuckler
Joined: 23 Dec 2002
Posts: 853
Location: Pearl Harbor, HI |
19
_________________
If soot stains your tunic, dye it black. This is vengeance.
-The Prince of Nothing |
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Wed Mar 17, 2004 2:53 am |
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Roqua
High Emperor
Joined: 02 Sep 2003
Posts: 897
Location: rump |
Old man. I remember being 19, I was even stupider than I am now. But I could last for longer than one in a half minutes in the sack, so I guess it equals out.
Did you know all the guys from Minnesota sound fruity? There was a kid from there in the army with me. He didn't look fruity, and he was good in a fight, but every time he talked fruit juice came out. I thought it was just him but he had a bunch of buddies come down and visit and they all talked like that. Very fruity. Girls would laugh at him and it basically hurt his love life.
Then there was another kid who had was a gay straight guy. He had a girls mind and a man's desires. So he was like a lesbian trapped inside a man's body. He could talk to girls on their level and they loved him for it. He knew about emotions and what the hell girls talk about in general. I can fake it for a little while when I was trying to get some (I'm married now so no need, my wife is one lucky lady). But this guy really was like that without faking. Poor lucky feller. I felt almost as much pity as I did feel jelousy.
Here is some birthday advice to help you grow up big and strong and lead a happy and prosperious life. I'll give you my top ten.
1) Loose the fruity Minnesota accent.
2) The sooner you realise that 99% of the time no one is really right, the sooner you stop caring about being right and just try to prove everyone else wrong, which is funner.
3) Being annoying and sarcastic is more angering to others than getting angry, and provides you with entertainment.
4) Be entertained as much as possible, always try to have an open mind and a good sense of humor.
5) Never ever order a mixed drink. Alchohol was never ment to taste good, it was invented to get you drunk. If a girl sees you with a foo-foo drink and then you open your mouth and your frruity accent comes out, guess what she will assume? Real men drink cheap beer and cheaper whiskey (straight of course) but other liquer is fine as long as taken straight. Rocks are for women, and liqueur (the sweet stuff like After Shock) is for women, and straws are for women, and everything else that tries to make liquer taste good or look good is for women. The only exception is that it is OK to drink a Martini if you are wearing a Tuxedo because James Bond is a stud and changed the standerds. But if you wear a tux, chances are you are rich and have many womanish qualities.
6) Before doing something that could be interpreted as womanish, ask yourself, "Would Clint Eastwood's Jose Wales or High Plains Drifter characters do this?" If the answer is no, then it is a fruity activity not to be engaged by those who find women atractive. And for God's sake, never ever cry if there is even a 1% chance someone might catch you.
7) Being a real man is hard but is worth it and gaurantees you a spot in Heaven. Woman, the attracted-to-womanly challenged, and the foo-foo metrosexuals are all wierd and go to wierd-o purgatory until they learn to think right, like a real man.
 When married never give your wife a chance to argue with you. They have way more argueing stamina than men. Just do dumb things, it is funner. My wife complained that I wouldn't put the seat down on the toilet (I put it up, why can't she put it down, why do I have to do all the work?). This would make her angry, instead of argueing I said "yes dear" and I've never left the seat up since; this is because I don't put it up. Now she has to sit on my urine splatter. I do also but its mine so I don't care. She complains about that also. Its either all or nothing with her, but I basically gave her a choice of either sitting in pee driplets or putting a seat down. No arguement and I was enetrtained to boot. Win-win.
9) Never forget that a woman's true objective is to drive you insane or change you into what she believes is an exceptable facimily of a decent human being. The only way to protect your mind is by a counter-insaneness campaign. Some examples are if your lady wants to have a meaningful talk about whatever it is they are always wanting to talk about, sit down and fake you are paying attention. And when she is done pooring her heart out over whatever stupid nonsense crap she had in her head and its your turn to speak say, "What was that? I wasn't paying attention."
10) This is a good motto to live by if you can:
"I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark should burn out
in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot.
I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom
of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.
The function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time."
Jack London 1916
Well, I guess its back to homework for me. Happy birthday again Korplem and I hope my advice helps you in life.
_________________
Vegitarian is the Indian word for lousey hunter. |
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Wed Mar 17, 2004 5:14 am |
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Korplem
Swashbuckler
Joined: 23 Dec 2002
Posts: 853
Location: Pearl Harbor, HI |
Roqua, this is by far the funniest post of the year! I'm sure your advice will come in handy...
The Minnesota accent: I don't know if I talk fruity but I'll check into it.  In Florida one year, I was at a fast food restuarant and asked for a 'pop'. The guy thought I meant a dad. 
2: Sounds simple enough.
3. I'm 50% Finnish so I'm rather stoic most of the time.
4. The world is my personal theater.
5. I'll have to stop adding orange juice... 
6. lol
7. lol
8. That's hilarious!
9. I was taught that from day one.
10. Sweet.
_________________
If soot stains your tunic, dye it black. This is vengeance.
-The Prince of Nothing |
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Wed Mar 17, 2004 6:31 am |
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Roqua
High Emperor
Joined: 02 Sep 2003
Posts: 897
Location: rump |
For the love of God, don't really take my advise seriously. I'm getting old and I'm still poor, I can barley communicate or spell in my native and only language, my wife hates me, and I sit in my own urine sprinkles.
Number 10 was probably good advice so that ones ok. So is number 1. Well, they're actually all good advice. Your lucky to have me around to guide you through these troubling years.
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Vegitarian is the Indian word for lousey hunter. |
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Wed Mar 17, 2004 6:55 am |
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Korplem
Swashbuckler
Joined: 23 Dec 2002
Posts: 853
Location: Pearl Harbor, HI |
Don't worry, I wasn't actually going to take them seriously.
_________________
If soot stains your tunic, dye it black. This is vengeance.
-The Prince of Nothing |
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Wed Mar 17, 2004 7:41 am |
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Graham 2
High Emperor
Joined: 29 Jan 2004
Posts: 795
Location: Preston/England |
quote:
Originally posted by Roqua
5) Never ever order a mixed drink. Alchohol was never ment to taste good, it was invented to get you drunk. If a girl sees you with a foo-foo drink and then you open your mouth and your frruity accent comes out, guess what she will assume? Real men drink cheap beer and cheaper whiskey (straight of course) but other liquer is fine as long as taken straight. Rocks are for women, and liqueur (the sweet stuff like After Shock) is for women, and straws are for women, and everything else that tries to make liquer taste good or look good is for women. The only exception is that it is OK to drink a Martini if you are wearing a Tuxedo because James Bond is a stud and changed the standerds. But if you wear a tux, chances are you are rich and have many womanish qualities.
.
You are 100% correct, there really is nothing quite like a cheap rancid whiskey straight of course, I like bells and none of this jack daniels crap that's for ponces and queers. I would say that the only mixed drink that is aceptable is called a "bastard" It contains 1 absynthe 1 sambucca and a red and blue aftershock, That's not for the ladies 
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R.I.P "Dimebag" Darrell Lance Abbott
1966 - 2004 |
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Wed Mar 17, 2004 11:33 am |
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