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TheMadGamer
High Emperor
Joined: 03 May 2002
Posts: 487
Location: Southern California |
If it is unclear to you which lane is the fast lane, please drive to the nearest Department of Motor Vehicles (or equivalent) and return your driver’s license to the government. You are incompetent and shouldn’t be driving at all.
If you have a set of morals or ethics that compels you to police the fast lane to ensure that all motorists behind you drive at the speed limit or slower as you see fit, more than most, you do not belong in the fast lane. You belong in the slow lane with your shrink counseling you on your ‘control issues’ from the passenger seat.
If you are on your mobile phone, you do not belong in the fast lane. Or any lane really. In fact, many of your fellow motorists would be happy to see hot spears thrust into your eyeballs.
If instead of the ‘3 second rule’ you live by the ’3 mile rule,’ do not drive in the fast lane.
If you are not ready to accept the responsibility of a speeding ticket by driving with the speed of traffic in the fast lane, which is oftentimes faster than the speed limit, get out of the fast lane.
If you are trying to read a book while driving, please, for the love of God, get out of the damn fast lane.
If you notice that cars behind you in the fast lane are steadily maneuvering around you and then in front of you, over and over again, this is a clear sign for you to get yourself out of the fast lane.
If you are so self absorbed that you cannot or will not pay attention, be alert, and drive efficiently throughout the duration of your drive (as opposed to just random parts of your drive), never drive in the fast lane.
If you notice you have problems while walking and chewing gum at the same time, or trouble multitasking in general, this is a clear indication that you will probably fail to drive well in the fast lane while talking to your friend in the passenger seat. Get out of the fast lane!
If you are one of those people who sit with their chin up against the top of the steering wheel, never ever drive in the fast lane. Drive in the slow lane and actively practice relaxation techniques so that you don’t look like a manikin.
If you cannot read the signs because you cannot read the language in the country you are driving in, do not drive in the fast lane. And don’t drive around me!
If you are in unfamiliar territory and are unsure as to whether or not you will be continuing on the current road or if you will be exiting the current road or transitioning to another road, please get out of the fast lane and figure it out from the slow lane.
If it is acceptable to you to disrupt the current flow of traffic already in the fast lane by merging into the fast lane, do not ever drive in the fast lane or even consider driving in the fast lane in the future. Consider yourself banned from the fast lane for life.
If you drive one of those cars that bellows thick white smog into the air effectively creating a stinky dense fog for all the motorists behind you that would otherwise shut down an international airport, get out of the fast lane.
If you are one of those drivers that continuously taps their breaks for no apparent reason, never drive in the fast lane.
If you like to drive with your left or right blinker blinking but have no real intention of making a lane change, never drive in the fast lane.
If you drive a piece of crap car that can’t achieve the speed limit or is sluggish to accelerate/decelerate, consider asking yourself, ‘what business do I have driving in the fast lane with this car?’ Then, get out of the fast lane.
If driving in inclement weather makes you nervous, get out of the damn fast lane.
If you normally adhere to the, ‘Fast Lane Rules’ but are driving a moving truck because you’re moving, don’t drive in the fast lane.
If everyday is like Sunday for you, never drive in the fast lane.
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The Poster Previously Known As NeptiOfPovar |
Wed Jan 14, 2004 5:38 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
Hear! Hear!
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound=  |
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Wed Jan 14, 2004 6:17 pm |
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goshuto
Wanderer
Joined: 29 May 2002
Posts: 1142
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It's useless to fight; there are too many of them.
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"Tree stuck in cat. Firemen baffled."--Simcity 3K
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."--Soren Aabye Kierkegaard |
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Wed Jan 14, 2004 8:03 pm |
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Korplem
Swashbuckler
Joined: 23 Dec 2002
Posts: 853
Location: Pearl Harbor, HI |
On the subject of drivers... A few weeks ago while the roads were crazy with christmas shoppers my dad and I were second in line in the right turn lane at a busy intersection. The old man in front of us seemed to be having car troubles be cause he would keep slamming on the gas but hardly move. So we go out and offered to push him around the corner and get his car out of the way since the lane was getting really backed up with christmas shoppers. So we pushed him around the corner but he didn't pull over to the side as planned, he just kept going down the road. We asked him why he wasnt pulling over and he said "I want to go to Target." 
Anyway, the old man didnt respond when we asked him to pull the car over so we just left him there since we still had to get our car out of the way.
Then, by chance we saw him again just yesterday! He was in the parking lot (Only God knows how he managed to get that far) trying desperetly to get his car in a parking space. I think he kept accidentily putting his car into neutral because sometimes he would stop moving but he thought it was just stuck or something and slam on the gas... 
_________________
If soot stains your tunic, dye it black. This is vengeance.
-The Prince of Nothing |
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Wed Jan 14, 2004 8:07 pm |
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Ozymandias
Leader of the Senate
Joined: 26 Apr 2003
Posts: 319
Location: Otherland |
If you get so annoyed by other drivers that you write rant posts on webforums don't drive in the fast lane - start your journeys earlier so you don't have to drive in that lane. 
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"There is no way around it. Correct is correct. I am correct, therefore I win."
Roqua
Disclaimer: I can not be held responsible for anything whatsoever as a result of you reading this post. |
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Wed Jan 14, 2004 8:50 pm |
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TheMadGamer
High Emperor
Joined: 03 May 2002
Posts: 487
Location: Southern California |
quote:
Originally posted by Ozymandias
If you get so annoyed by other drivers that you write rant posts on webforums don't drive in the fast lane - start your journeys earlier so you don't have to drive in that lane.
It doesn't matter what time you're driving. This crap happens 24/7 here in CA.
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The Poster Previously Known As NeptiOfPovar |
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Wed Jan 14, 2004 8:56 pm |
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Secret Agent Lawanda
The last thing you see...
Joined: 23 Oct 2003
Posts: 1041
Location: World of Darkness (LA) |
It's ironic how when you are driving no one seems to know what they are doing besides you. heh
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-=Professional Secret Agent=-
Moderator of The Anime and Manga Fan Club |
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Wed Jan 14, 2004 11:36 pm |
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TheMadGamer
High Emperor
Joined: 03 May 2002
Posts: 487
Location: Southern California |
quote:
Originally posted by Secret Agent Lawanda
It's ironic how when you are driving no one seems to know what they are doing besides you. heh
No one is perfect and all of us do stupid crap out on the road all the time.
The question one should themself though, is if they are even aware of when they just did something stupid. Most motorists appear completely oblivious to the stifling conditions they create on the road.
The most important thing to do when you are driving is to pay attention every time you drive, for the entire duration of that drive.
Most people put everything but driving first. And this is where the breakdown starts. Then, they are clueless to stupid things they do, which dooms them to continue idiotic bahvior in the future.
I don't feel like I'm the world's perfect driver. I do however feel that I have consistent discipline putting driving first every time I drive. If everyone put driving first and were consistent about it, driving would be at least a little more pleasant and efficient.
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The Poster Previously Known As NeptiOfPovar |
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Thu Jan 15, 2004 12:25 am |
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Moriendor
Black Ring Leader
Joined: 19 Jul 2001
Posts: 1306
Location: Germany |
Being German and all.. umm.. what exactly is a speed limit? |
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Thu Jan 15, 2004 9:32 pm |
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Korplem
Swashbuckler
Joined: 23 Dec 2002
Posts: 853
Location: Pearl Harbor, HI |
  
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If soot stains your tunic, dye it black. This is vengeance.
-The Prince of Nothing |
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Thu Jan 15, 2004 10:11 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
quote:
Originally posted by Moriendor
Being German and all.. umm.. what exactly is a speed limit?
Do you really want me to answer that? 
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound= |
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Thu Jan 15, 2004 11:46 pm |
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XeroX
The MasterCopy
Joined: 13 Dec 2001
Posts: 7125
Location: The Netherlands |
Does any Amarican know the Dutch or German speed limit?
Only a fast and a slow lane? Where i live we got roads of 4/5 or 6 lanes (mostly for) and that is going in 1 direction so the highways are mostly 8 wide and still trafic is blocked up frequently.
What i hate even more then slow people is cars that stick to your bumper when you are driving above the speed limit on a 1 lane road.
My reaction is to actually drive slower and slower just to annoy them even more (not below the speed limit).
When the move back to the normal distance i will speed up again.
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The original RED poster (retired now)
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Fri Jan 16, 2004 12:05 am |
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Moriendor
Black Ring Leader
Joined: 19 Jul 2001
Posts: 1306
Location: Germany |
quote:
Originally posted by Val
quote:
Originally posted by Moriendor
Being German and all.. umm.. what exactly is a speed limit?
Do you really want me to answer that?
Hehe.. nah.. just playing with you guys' envy .. will send some compassionate thoughts your way next time I'm conveniently cruising at 130mph+ in the fast lane on one of our Autobahns . |
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Fri Jan 16, 2004 12:25 am |
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TheMadGamer
High Emperor
Joined: 03 May 2002
Posts: 487
Location: Southern California |
quote:
Originally posted by Moriendor
Hehe.. nah.. just playing with you guys' envy .. will send some compassionate thoughts your way next time I'm conveniently cruising at 130mph+ in the fast lane on one of our Autobahns .
Wouldn't matter if here in CA we had no speed limit. I suspect these problems would continue.
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The Poster Previously Known As NeptiOfPovar |
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Fri Jan 16, 2004 12:56 am |
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Moriendor
Black Ring Leader
Joined: 19 Jul 2001
Posts: 1306
Location: Germany |
Hehe.. same here. Funny to see that this seems to be a global problem  . Actually happens rarely over here that you can go at the above mentioned 130mph+ for longer than a couple minutes. Germany is about the size of New Mexico (a little larger.. by about 15%) but we have a population of 80 million (about 1/3 of the US). We got lots of cars and especially trucks congesting our Autobahns (which are usually two lanes in each direction) so people passing truck convoys or slower vehicles really slow things down most of the time and if you drive on a 3-lane Autobahn people do for some reason always use the mid lane as if the right lane was reserved for slower vehicles like trucks only (which it isn't, of course). That's what gets me upset the most. If you have 3 lanes then use them dammit! . |
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Fri Jan 16, 2004 7:45 pm |
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