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Aram
Village Dweller
Joined: 14 Feb 2004
Posts: 23
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I’ve hated school ever since my first days back in kindergarten. Although I hated school, I loved learning, and cared about my education more than anyone could guess. As each year passed, it seemed like I cared more and the school cared less. By the 5th grade it seemed like all the school looked for was funding, and all I became was a test score to them. About this time I started having sleep problems, nothing beyond a restless night now and then. When I hit middle school it felt like all the humanity was sucked out of me, I lost my name and became a number to put on every test and exam. I no longer “learned” anything but was “educated”. The focus went from understanding the subject to passing that state exam every quarter. As this continued the sleeping problem became worse, and I was diagnosed with mild insomnia, a common byproduct of early teenage life.
Finally high school came and with it a new president. A new program called No Child Left Behind was introduced and I thought that finally someone cares. A new school was built in the “urban” part of town. The district paid 50 million dollars on a giant school packed with computers for every student, and the most qualified teachers the state could afford. I went to the new school and found out what all the funding bought. The school was a factory to pump out these uniform, mid-qualified workers to be employed by whomever needed the cheapest labor. All of the advanced classes were sacrificed so that we all learned, sorry “educated”, at the same level. There was no uniqueness to any student, the point was not to raise the standards of education, but to lower them so that everyone could pass those state tests, and make it seem like we all became well educated. That year my insomnia grew so severe that I missed over 50 days of school because of it, and I still passed with some of the highest grades in my class.
Now I’m in the 10th grade, and failing. I will go for nearly 4 days without sleep, and still show up at school whenever possible. I’ve changed schools again, but not to a great benefit. No medication seems to work for me, and I receive no help from my school. I still have some of the highest test grades, but school is no longer about comprehending what you are taught. Because of my sleep problems I’ve taken to teaching myself at night, and showing up at school the next day so they can count my number. Despite my comprehension and high test scores, the school refuses to pass me, standards are no longer based on comprehension but attendance and state testing. You simply can’t raise quality by lowering standards, but that seems to be the goal now. I conducted my own experiment recently, it involved taking 3 IQ tests at three different levels of sleep. With a full night’s sleep without medication I scored a 148 on the test, a full nights sleep with medication earned a 132, a night before school where I wake up at 6 am (generally 1-4 hours of sleep), scored and average IQ of 92. Have I failed the school system or has it failed me? Is it my fault for not attending everyday, or my parents fault for not forcing me there everyday? I’m 16 and don’t legally have to go to school, but I know it is important, or at least that pretty little piece of paper you get after four years is important. Who is to blame for this? What are my options?
This is a paper I recently wrote, I pasted onto this thread so I'm sorry for the loss of order to it. I simply want to know if anyone has any suggestions about my problem or comments on the subject. |
Fri Mar 12, 2004 9:54 pm |
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Cm
Sentinel of Light
Joined: 26 Jan 2003
Posts: 5209
Location: Missouri USA |
Dear Aram,
I think your diagnosis of the school system is right on. But you have to decide to take care of yourself. You are the only one who can educate you. They can offer you the material, but you have to do the work. I think that IQ score may have been a little low. Sounds like you have a lot more going for you than came out on the tests.
Get through high school. If you can, try to take some college classes. I think you will find the independence and challenge of college may be what you are looking for. I struggled in grade and high school but college was like a different world, and I got straight A's because I loved it and the topics.
As for the sleep, I think you need to get a new doctor. There are lots of reasons for insomnia, and you should not be suffering with it for so long with only sleeping pills to take. You are too young to settle for one diagnosis. I would suggest asking for a second opinion. Maybe even a third.
Hang in there and realize you are doing this for you and not for them. Get a good education in spite of the system and then maybe you will be the one to help change it soon.
_________________
=Member of the Nonflamers Guild=
=Member of Worshippers of the Written Word=
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Mark Twain
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Fri Mar 12, 2004 10:15 pm |
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elkston
High Emperor
Joined: 21 Sep 2002
Posts: 691
Location: North Carolina, USA |
Aram,
You write well and seem to be insightful about the "big picture" regarding the current state of education.
You are probably very smart. However, being "smart" and acheiving in academic subjects are different things. No matter how clever you are, some amount of effort and perparation is always needed. And you definitely NEED to be in class.
I get the feeling that you certainly have the ability to excel in school. But the will is not there. Maybe depression is getting in the way. It is a problem I struggle with as well, though I am at a different stage in my life.
The sleep problems, inability to focus, the sense of aimlessness. I know it well.
I don't have an easy answer to your problem, but I will say that you first need to confide in your parents about your concerns (if you haven't already). Then you need to keep trying medications and consult with doctors. Feelling good physically and mentally will help you in school. It is commonly believed also that excericise can help in overcoming depression.
I don't think it is my place to judge your parents; But If they are not on your ass about going to school (like they should be) -- then you need to motivate yourself to go.
Beleive me, you MUST finish school. Even if you disagree with their methods (and I agree that "teaching the test" is the wrong approach), you need to suck it up and play the game at least till you get your high school degree.
Like I said, you seem to be very intelligent and that will serve you well. But if you want to aspire towards any type of "career" -- you will probably need a college degree of some kind. Sure, there cases of self-made people who reach success without degrees. They are the exceptions. I wouldn't take that chance.
If you don't feel that you are learning enough, then see if any of your teachers are willing to assign you extra work. Perhaps some would be willing to point out extra chapters that cover material which was excised to allow for more efficient test preparation.
Best wishes in your journey. Just keep at it. Eventually you will find some subject that excites you. Something that you truly care about. Then, the motivation will come naturally.
_________________
All shall hear the words of Karras...the words of Karras
Last edited by elkston on Fri Mar 12, 2004 10:43 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Fri Mar 12, 2004 10:39 pm |
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Aram
Village Dweller
Joined: 14 Feb 2004
Posts: 23
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I've tried several doctors and even more different solutions. The only way to cure insomnia is to eliminate the source of it, which would be school in this case. I can't and don’t want to quit school, and taking the GED seems like an easy way out. My best hope is finding a good school system or alternative. Anyone know of any? If nothing else I'll find a country that cares more about educating its future citizens than building bombs to drop on everyone else. How's Canada this time of the year?
I'm having a hard time explaining this well without adding several pages to the forum. I do understand that a big part of high school is just your rating of effort. That is one of the greatest problems, you cant understand the effort I already go through unless you have done this yourself. I can promise you that I put more effort into school than half of the people there, if not more. Waking up every morning at 6 o'clock after falling asleep two hours earlier then going to school while not benefiting at all requires more effort than most people will ever know. We all have problems in life and this seems small next to others, but this is a real problem. A lot of people with mild insomnia can simply deal with and go through the day, but I don’t have mild insomnia. Going day after day with little to no sleep has horrible impacts on your health. I've lost weight, suffer from headaches, and even hallucinate when I have prolonged restlessness. I can only compare it to torture when I exercise all day and go to bed physically exhausted but still cannot sleep. They say about 50% of Americans do this at least once in their life, well imagine doing it every night. I have to live the week off the rest I get on Saturday and Sunday. About my parents, if you were in their place would you sacrifice you child's health over high school attendance? Putting forth more effort isn't possible, I already try harder and do more than anyone else I know, I just have larger obstacles to cross. I don’t want pity, I don’t want praise. I just want a solution or in this case, a way to vent.
Last edited by Aram on Fri Mar 12, 2004 11:19 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Fri Mar 12, 2004 10:40 pm |
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Korplem
Swashbuckler
Joined: 23 Dec 2002
Posts: 853
Location: Pearl Harbor, HI |
If you are interested in college you could try P.S.E.O. (Post Secondary Education Option) and your high school will pay for it, assuming that they let you. Another option is to find an 'alternative learning center' or whatever they call them now. There was an ALC in my area when I was in high school and it was great, they didn't pass you based on grades(they didn't have grades) but on how much work you do. They had 'independent study' where you could pretty much do anything you wanted thats related to a class and it would help with finishing that class.
As for the sleeping problem alcohol does the trick for me every time but the hang overs dont really help with school... 
Edited a few times for clarification.
_________________
If soot stains your tunic, dye it black. This is vengeance.
-The Prince of Nothing |
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Fri Mar 12, 2004 10:48 pm |
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Ammon777
Warrior for Heaven
Joined: 20 Apr 2002
Posts: 2011
Location: United States |
OK take this advice from a schizophrenic who dropped out twice but went back and got his diploma.
You might have major depression because inability to sleep is one of the primary symptoms. go see a good psychiatrist, not a psychologist nor a doctor. see a psychiatrist. anti-depressants might be the answer for you. you could go from no sleep to ten hours per night with those. they are potent and effective medicines. also, it sounds like you might have an illness of some kind. kids should never lack sleep like that. you have more than mere "slight insomnia" if you cant sleep for four days.
my advice is:
1) dont stress high school that much. just get the diploma. if you can, get high grades, but realize that high school, in the end, isnt very important. just the diploma is important.
1a) plan to go to college, even if you think you wont be able to afford it.
2) as a Senior, study hard and try getting as many scholarships as you can for college. this is so that you dont have to struggle with work in college. its much better to be able to focus on studies rather than worry about having enough money for next semester. Having money to do stuff (play, parties, et cetera), have decent living arrangements, and money to spend will make TONS of difference for the positive in college.
3) senior year and college are way easier when you know the basics taught in high school. learn as much as you can in high school, even if it seems trivial. things like geometry, algebra, sciences, computer programming, et cetera, could later on lift you to heights you never imagined was possible. For instance, if in college you get interested in Physics, then your learning in sciences and mathematics will make a hell of a difference.
4) in high school, they ARE teaching you the fundamentals only. High school prepares kids for living functional in society. It doesnt do much else. But like cmckj50 said, college is where the REAL learning is at. And with your high intelligence, you wont find much things that will interest you in high school. But in college, you will find the challenge and the fascination of studying whatever you want most rewarding. College is where the real learning takes place. College is where you discover yourself, in the sense that you discover what your passion in life is. My passion was Artificial Intelligence and Religion. Yours will be whatever you desire.
Dont give up! I dropped out twice, but i also got straight A's in college, even while i was battling my schizophrenia. But it was an invaluable experience.
I hope this helped some. 
PS go see a decent psychiatrist! |
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Fri Mar 12, 2004 10:57 pm |
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Ammon777
Warrior for Heaven
Joined: 20 Apr 2002
Posts: 2011
Location: United States |
btw, if you dont go to college, plan on doing things like washing dishes at the country club the rest of your life. yes, its that important. its very hard to get a good job without college education.
EDIT -- actually my most important advice is for you to get cured. Your sleeping problem is the biggest problem. That is what is causing the other problems! its VERY important that you get that resolved. Your future depends on it. You might be like me, you might have a chemical imbalance in the brain. Just because one medication doesnt work, doesnt mean they cant find another that will work. Ive had to go through med changes too for them to find what works the best. You need a really good psychiatrist, most specifically one that specializes in mental illness. Because believe it or not, you have a problem with brain chemistry, and the only resolution will be the correct medications. These meds have changed my life for the better. They are miraculous. And stay away from drugs, even the soft kind. They arent good for you and could make you have even more problems than you have now.
EDIT 2 -- also, have you thought about home schooling? i know you can do it in the USA, but i dont know where you are right now. That way you could school at home at whatever hours you desire. That might be an answer.
Last edited by Ammon777 on Fri Mar 12, 2004 11:16 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Fri Mar 12, 2004 11:01 pm |
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Ammon777
Warrior for Heaven
Joined: 20 Apr 2002
Posts: 2011
Location: United States |
quote:
Originally posted by Aram
My best hope is finding a good school system or alternative. Anyone know of any?
HOME SCHOOLING. Have one of your parents pretend to teach you, while you do all the actual work, and you can get a real Diploma that way, if you are in the United States. I almost did that same thing. I know a girl that didnt go to high school but got a diploma anyway through home schooling (she was allergic to too many things).
EDIT -- and home schooling is done on YOUR schedule. you are the one that determines the hours of work. you can even get scholarships this way. there are scholarship informations services on the web that tell how to get them. most scholarships require a certain grade in a subject along with a written essay or something like that. |
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Fri Mar 12, 2004 11:19 pm |
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Aram
Village Dweller
Joined: 14 Feb 2004
Posts: 23
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Ammon, you do seem to understand more than others I've talked to. I have seen psychiatrists, and they say I'm no more depressed than I should be. I was diagnosed with severe insomnia and have tried without success to cure it. In regards to school, I have no problems at all in understanding the subjects, I understand as well as anyone else in class, my problem just lies with attendance. As for home schooling, we've looked into it as much as possible but my school system seems to disapprove of the method.
As for drugs and alcohol, I stay away as much as I can, the last thing I need right now is another problem. I even dislike prescription drugs, having to go through life dependent on a sleeping pill is not a way I want to live. Right now I'm working on alternative treatments like relaxation therapy, massage, and even yoga (I really love the massage although it doesn't help the insomnia much). Everyone I've talked to about the problem says it a first for them, I don’t show any signs of depression other than sleep loss, and am a very relaxed person.
I guess if nothing else, I can always make a small fortune testing sleeping drugs.  |
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Fri Mar 12, 2004 11:37 pm |
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Ammon777
Warrior for Heaven
Joined: 20 Apr 2002
Posts: 2011
Location: United States |
Well you didnt look into home schooling enough, it sounds like. Ive done you a favor and looked up a home school system that you could look into. It is independent from your school system, so they will have no say in the matter, i believe (could be wrong, but not likely).
Also, even if its not depression, it could still be a chemical imbalance of some kind. Not sleeping is not natural. There is definately a problem, which is why you should keep trying to find a solution with a really good psychiatrist.
Here is some of the home school info:
its a christian school, but that doesnt matter much. i dont think theyll force you to read the Bible or anything like that.
A.C.E. -- Accelerated Christian Education
High-Quality Academics
Complete K-12 Home School Curriculum
Leader in Individualized Academics
Affordable Academic Excellence
www.aceministries.com
1-800-925-7777
Good luck pal, we care, so youre not alone.
EDIT -- also, i have a catalog in front of me called "ACE Home School 2002-2003 Catalog," so just call the number and request the newer version. |
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Fri Mar 12, 2004 11:55 pm |
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corwin
On the Razorblade of Life
Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Posts: 8376
Location: Australia |
Good advice from everyone. As someone who has been involved in the 'Ed Biz' for most of my life, I'm appalled at how you describe the US system. All I know about it, is what's portrayed on TV and we all know how 'real' that is!! I grew up in Canada and my High School education was nothing like you describe, but things may have changed. Here in Australia, each state is different. In Queensland where I live, there are NO state tests or exams, except for a university entrance type test in your final year, which is used as a school scaler, not an individual score, just to keep the schools honest. Here, the schools try to cater for individual learning differences and give special considerations to people with medical conditions. Home schooling is also an option, but Universities here hate it.
Ammon is correct though, when he says you need to address the root cause of your problem. I wish you well in that. You don't say much about your parents, what is their attitude and approach?
_________________
If God said it, then that settles it!
I don't use Smileys, I use Emoticons!!
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Sat Mar 13, 2004 12:01 am |
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Ammon777
Warrior for Heaven
Joined: 20 Apr 2002
Posts: 2011
Location: United States |
also i asked my mom (who knows stuff) whether that ACE home school system involves the local area school system at all or not? and she said, Nope, not at all! They are completely accredited and independent of any local school jurisdiction. so you are in luck dude, those dumbasses at your schools cant interfere.
[ edit -- corrected a mispelling ]
Last edited by Ammon777 on Sat Mar 13, 2004 12:17 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Sat Mar 13, 2004 12:10 am |
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Ammon777
Warrior for Heaven
Joined: 20 Apr 2002
Posts: 2011
Location: United States |
quote:
Originally posted by Aram
As for home schooling, we've looked into it as much as possible but my school system seems to disapprove of the method...
of course they do! they dont want anyone local to home school because they wouldnt get paid through taxes by your parents! its policy, not common sense. |
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Sat Mar 13, 2004 12:16 am |
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corwin
On the Razorblade of Life
Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Posts: 8376
Location: Australia |
I'm very familiar with ACE, and you need to be VERY careful. Here in Australia, it doesn't meet our standards and is no longer used by any reputable school or institution, because NO university will accept it or any student who has used it. Therefore, you need to check with any American University you may be interested in attending, whether they will accept ACE educated students. I repeat, in Australia, ACE certificates hold no weight and are not worth the paper they are printed on for any job qualifications, or higher learning institutions. MAKE SURE that doesn't apply for you. Don't trust what THEY say, check it out for each institution personally.
_________________
If God said it, then that settles it!
I don't use Smileys, I use Emoticons!!
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Sat Mar 13, 2004 12:26 am |
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Ammon777
Warrior for Heaven
Joined: 20 Apr 2002
Posts: 2011
Location: United States |
woah, i did not know that.  |
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Sat Mar 13, 2004 12:28 am |
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