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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
| The Grand List Of Console Role Playing Game Clichés |
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Click me!
I found this mildly amusing, so I thought I'd share it.
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound=  |
Wed Apr 13, 2005 7:12 pm |
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Jaz
Late Night Spook
Joined: 20 Jan 2002
Posts: 9708
Location: RPGDot |
Well, those rules are quite true  .
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Jaz |
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Thu Apr 14, 2005 5:08 am |
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Arten Morningstarr
Village Dweller
Joined: 07 Apr 2005
Posts: 12
Location: Sat in an I.T. room in school |
So true
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I would have a signature if I could think up something funny to put here instead of just dragging on like this... yeah that would be better, let me start again...
*Clears throat*
Nope nothing... oh well... |
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Thu Apr 14, 2005 9:43 am |
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tolgerias
High Emperor
Joined: 15 Jul 2004
Posts: 770
Location: The Netherlands |
quote:
RPG characters are young. Very young. The average age seems to be 15, unless the character is a decorated and battle-hardened soldier, in which case he might even be as old as 18. Such teenagers often have skills with multiple weapons and magic, years of experience, and never ever worry about their parents telling them to come home from adventuring before bedtime. By contrast, characters more than twenty-two years old will cheerfully refer to themselves as washed-up old fogies and be eager to make room for the younger generation.
mildly amusing indeed 
blahblah copyright blahblah
It would be great if every game developer skimid through this list, to avoid the biggest cliches. Everyone warns you to stay away from the tomb, so you investigate it and kill the undead which is exactly scaled to your level  Never you get punished for ignoring the warnings of others, that just stupid 
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If you can't debate without namecalling then don't bother visiting us. -Myrthos |
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Thu Apr 14, 2005 9:54 am |
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RPG Frog
Blade Runner
Joined: 02 Jan 2004
Posts: 748
Location: the Matrix |
Great find Val. I loved these...
18 Crono's Complaint
The less the main character talks, the more words are put into his mouth, and therefore the more trouble he gets into through no fault of his own.
25 Dimensional Transcendence Principle
Buildings are much, much larger on the inside than on the outside, and that doesn't even count the secret maze of tunnels behind the clock in the basement.
125 "You Couldn't Get To Sleep Either, Huh?"
If any character in the game ever meets any other character standing alone at night looking at the moon, those two will eventually fall in love.
133 Last Rule of Politics
Kingdoms are good. Empires are evil.
147 Vivi's Spellbook Principle
Over the course of the game, you will spend countless hours learning between twenty and one hundred skills and/or spells, approximately three of which will still be useful by the end of the game.
190 Weapon Rule
There's always a hidden creature who is much harder to defeat than even the ultimate bad guy's final, world-annihilating form. It's lucky for all concerned that this hidden creature prefers to stay hidden rather than trying to take over the world himself, because he'd probably win. As a corollary, whatever reward you get for killing the hidden creature is basically worthless because by the time you're powerful enough to defeat him, you don't need it any more.
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Between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the gleaming cities…there was an Age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars…Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand…to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandaled feet. - Robert E. Howard |
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Fri Apr 15, 2005 5:22 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
You're welcome. That list certainly has some hilarious clichés.
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound= |
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Sun Apr 17, 2005 2:12 am |
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Arma
Mysterious Lady
Joined: 24 Oct 2003
Posts: 1230
Location: in the middle of hell |
Yup, mildly amusing.
On the other hand, what I seem to think is that all console RPG developer seem to be scrolling through this, but not to avoid the cliches, but rather to be sure to put all of them in, or at least as most as they manage due to timetables and such. |
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Thu Apr 21, 2005 7:19 am |
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