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Lintra
Elf Friend
Joined: 23 Apr 2002
Posts: 9448
Location: Bermuda, the triangle place with SANDY BEACHES |
| Another winner from my mother in law, please read disclaimer |
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Disclaimer: This comes from my Mother in Law. While one or two of the points hit a little close to home, I find the overall tone ... close to offensive. But then, humor has a VERY fine line to walk ... and if you picture Robin Williams saying it, it is quite amusing *grin*. Okay, enough disclaimer, on to the joke:
_________________________________________________________________
THE ROBIN WILLIAMS PEACE PLAN
This may very well be the best thought out item we have read since 9/11/01. Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan ... what we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.
I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan.
1. The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past &present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega, Milosovich and the rest of those good ol' boys: We will never "interfere" again.
2. We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one sneaking through holes in the fence.
3. All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.
4. All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
5. No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" (for "deport") and it's back home baby.
6. The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.
7. Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
8. If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides, most of what we give them is stolen or given to the Army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.
9. Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
10. All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The language we speak is ENGLISH.....learn it...or LEAVE...
Now, ain't that a winner of a plan. The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying "Give me
your poor, your tired, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, "You want a piece of me?"
If you agree with the above forward it to friends.
Amen Brother.............
_________________
=Member of The Nonflamers' Guild=
=Just plain clueless= |
Wed Mar 31, 2004 4:51 pm |
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Korplem
Swashbuckler
Joined: 23 Dec 2002
Posts: 853
Location: Pearl Harbor, HI |
Williams for president!
_________________
If soot stains your tunic, dye it black. This is vengeance.
-The Prince of Nothing |
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Wed Mar 31, 2004 4:57 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
 Ditto!
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Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
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Wed Mar 31, 2004 8:15 pm |
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EverythingXen
Arch-villain
Joined: 01 Feb 2002
Posts: 4342
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That's not funny at all. The sheer amount of North Americans who would whole-heartedly agree with it completely robs it of any satirical value it may have had.
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Estuans interius, Ira vehementi
"The old world dies and with it the old ways. We will rebuild it as it should be, MUST be... Immortal!"
=Member of the Nonflamers Guild=
=Worshipper of the Written Word= |
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Thu Apr 01, 2004 3:51 am |
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dteowner
Shoegazer
Joined: 21 Mar 2002
Posts: 7570
Location: Third Hero of Erathia |
So where's the joke? Looks like sound policy to me. 
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=Proud Member of the Non-Flamers Guild=
=Benevolent Dictator, X2/X3 and Morrowind/Oblivion Forums=
Sorry. No pearls of wisdom in this oyster.
RIP Red Wings How 'Bout Dem Cowboys! |
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Thu Apr 01, 2004 5:10 am |
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corwin
On the Razorblade of Life
Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Posts: 8376
Location: Australia |
Even from where I am it looks sensible. We had a politician here suggest something similar a few years ago and their popularity soared so much, they formed their own political party!!
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If God said it, then that settles it!
I don't use Smileys, I use Emoticons!!
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Thu Apr 01, 2004 7:05 am |
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cfmdobbie
High Emperor
Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 1859
Location: London, England |
My God. I won't even bother with a retort - it's like shooting fish in a barrel. 
The problem with satire and irony is that the moment it is spoken, it is immediately out of context. It is then related in conversation, posted on a forum, emailed, or whatever - people will interpret it differently from how it was intended, and it then hurts both sides: it promotes fear in the side it is from, and causes hatred in the side it was "against".
But don't get me wrong - the world needs humour, and the world definitely needs humour like this to make people stop and think for a moment. It just saddens me that what should be a good message will inevitably turn sour. 
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Charlie Dobbie
=Member of The Nonflamers' Guild=
=Moderator of the Morrowind/Oblivion Forums= |
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Thu Apr 01, 2004 12:44 pm |
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cfmdobbie
High Emperor
Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 1859
Location: London, England |
| Re: Another winner from my mother in law, please read discla |
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quote:
Originally posted by Lintra
9. Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
Okay, I wasn't going to respond - but this line is just fantastic! I really can't tell if it's meant as a kind of double-irony, or whether Robin's just got totally the wrong end of the stick. Everyone spies on everyone else, and everyone knows this. However...
The only people who've been actually exposed in this practice is we Brits - and we were basically doing it for the Americans!
Now that's funny!
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Charlie Dobbie
=Member of The Nonflamers' Guild=
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Thu Apr 01, 2004 12:51 pm |
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iplaygames2
Master of The Realms
Joined: 06 Sep 2001
Posts: 745
Location: Chicago, IL, USA |
Yea, okay, so it's not very likely that Bush will stand up and read THIS as his next address the nation speech.
There are a few points in there that make sense though, I think we can all agree on that. Someone send this to John Kerry's campaign office....it may put him over the top come November!! 
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Member of the "Fantastic ONE"
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Thu Apr 01, 2004 4:30 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
Considering that Kerry wants to bow down and kiss the UN's feet, I highly doubt he'd have the guts. 
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound= |
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Thu Apr 01, 2004 5:43 pm |
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Roqua
High Emperor
Joined: 02 Sep 2003
Posts: 897
Location: rump |
It does make you think. Everyone wants the US to cowtow to how they want us to act. The want us to but out unless they want our help. I would love turning into an isolationist nation like after the revolutionary war, not for our own benefit, just to piss the world off. Maybe we'll see some long ships telling us we have to open our boarders or we will be attacked and have our own great awakening.
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Vegitarian is the Indian word for lousey hunter. |
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Thu Apr 01, 2004 5:52 pm |
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Roach
SBR Belfry Bat
Joined: 20 Jan 2002
Posts: 3233
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quote:
Originally posted by iplaygames2
There are a few points in there that make sense though, I think we can all agree on that.
I disagree completely. I think every word was meant as if coming from some kind of Ku Klux Klan, paranoid, Bible thumping, conspiracy nut which is the context I read it in; and I thought it was very funny. (Especially the part about Lady Liberty with a bat.) It really gives voice to the frustration I feel about the whole issue. |
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Thu Apr 01, 2004 7:35 pm |
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iplaygames2
Master of The Realms
Joined: 06 Sep 2001
Posts: 745
Location: Chicago, IL, USA |
Roach, the point I was making was, seems nobody ever wants the US' help on anything. Ever. Nada, zero, zilch. The evil, angry Americans are scum and need to be either wiped from the planet or ignored until they go away.
But wait!!
If there's a disaster abroad, there are people who want nothing more than US dollars flowing into their struggling economies. Well hell, that's a bit ironic, don't you think? I sure do.
Val, if Kerry had the cojones to say even a couple of these phrases in his election campaign, you bet I'd vote for him. Even though the guy straddles the fence like a bowlegged cowboy, it would take a serious set of man-eggs to say these phrases publicly. If Bush came out with any of these, I'd vote for him, as well.
I just think the US gets a bad name for trying to help other countries. Sure, we stick our noses (read: troops) where they don't belong sometimes, I have no problem with that opinion. However, why is it that those same countries piss and moan when we DON'T intervene in their problems? Why do their problems become ours?
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Member of the "Fantastic ONE"
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Thu Apr 01, 2004 8:11 pm |
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Roach
SBR Belfry Bat
Joined: 20 Jan 2002
Posts: 3233
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Ah, it seems I misunderstood you. I agree, I just thought you meant something else. |
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Thu Apr 01, 2004 9:52 pm |
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