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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
I don't know how many people saw the newsbit on this, but Badger's little post about the game industry is definately worth a read. 
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound=  |
Sat Jun 18, 2005 10:46 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
*bump*
There's being bored, and then there's this guy. 
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound= |
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Thu Jun 23, 2005 8:22 pm |
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EverythingXen
Arch-villain
Joined: 01 Feb 2002
Posts: 4342
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http://www.evilrulers.com/
Really, does more need to be said? 
If I Were The Evil Overlord...
- I will never utter the sentence "Before I kill you, you should know…".
- My stronghold will have ventilation ducts that are too small to crawl through.
- Shooting is not "too good" for my enemies.
- I will never design and build a sentient computer that is smarter than I am.
Following the 'more' link reveals a lot of great ones. I like these ones: 
I will classify my lieutenants in three categories: untrusted, trusted, and completely trusted. Promotion to the last category is only done posthumously.
I will fund research to develop tactical and strategic weapons of all types and covering a full range of needs so my options aren't limited to "hand-to-hand combat with swords" or "blow up the planet".
When it is prophesized that "no man will defeat me", I will keep in mind the growing presence and influence of non-traditional gender roles in the world today.
My Legions of Terror will be trained so that if they burst into rebel headquarters and find it empty except for a strange, blinking device, they will not approach it to investigate. Rather they will run like hell.
_________________
Estuans interius, Ira vehementi
"The old world dies and with it the old ways. We will rebuild it as it should be, MUST be... Immortal!"
=Member of the Nonflamers Guild=
=Worshipper of the Written Word= |
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Tue Jun 28, 2005 1:19 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
That's so perfect!
I love these ones:
If any of my advisors ever says to me "My lord, he is but one man, and what can one man possibly do?" I will reply "This.", and then shoot him.
My stronghold won't have a self-destruct device unless it is absolutely necessary. If a self-destruct device turns out to be necessary, a big red button marked "Danger! Do not push!" will not activate it. The big red button marked "Danger! Do not push!" will instead trigger a spray of bullets onto anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, no on/off switches in my control room will be labeled as such.
My Legions of Terror will have uniforms designed by a talented fashion designer, and will not be a cheap knockoff of the Nazi SS uniform, the roman foot-soldier uniform, or the clothing of the savage Mongol horde. All such groups were eventually defeated, and I want my troopers to have a more positive outlook about themselves.
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound= |
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Tue Jun 28, 2005 5:54 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
What to do when you are attacked by a large jungle cat.
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound= |
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Mon Jul 18, 2005 6:17 pm |
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Lintra
Elf Friend
Joined: 23 Apr 2002
Posts: 9448
Location: Bermuda, the triangle place with SANDY BEACHES |
@Xen - That was great! Some of my favorites:
My doomsday device will not employ a large red digital countdown device unless it is absolutely necessary. If a countdown device proves to be necessary, the doomsday device will be set to activate when the counter reaches 00:10:00, rather than 00:00:00.
My headquarters will have a heavily guarded room located at the bottom of a 100 story subterranean shaft behind a door marked "command center". This room will have a sophisticated computer the size of a city bus. This computer will contain a carefully encrypted but totally false version of my Master Plan, have no external links, and no real purpose. My actual "command center" will be a satellite-linked laptop on a card table with a folding chair at the top of the elevator shaft, behind a door marked "standpipe valves", accessible through the unlocked janitor's closet.
If I capture the hero's starship, I will keep it in the landing bay with the ramp down, only a few token guards on duty and a ton of explosives set to go off as soon as it clears the blast-range.
One of my chief advisors will be an average, every-day eight-year-old child. Any flaws in my Master Plan that he is able to spot will be corrected long before I put that plan into action.
@Val - That is amazing! Never thought a cat could be brought down that way, I mean, what were it's four paws doing while this guy had his hand in it's mouth?
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=Member of The Nonflamers' Guild=
=Just plain clueless= |
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Tue Jul 19, 2005 1:09 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
I'd assume that kitty's claws were sunk into the old guy. That guy has guts.
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound= |
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Tue Jul 19, 2005 4:12 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
There's addiction, and then there's this guy. Dude, put the Pepsi can down.
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound= |
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Tue Aug 02, 2005 7:46 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
Remember Troops? That great Star Wars fan film? Well, the creators are back with IMPS - The Relentless. Imperial Military Personnel Stories.
You'll love this one Jaz, the Predator makes a guest appearance!
I love the way it starts: "Behold! The brilliant silence of space. Domain of the Imperial battle group."
Some choice lines:
"Why don't they mention these places in the recruitment pamphlets?"
"I hate stairs!"
"I can actually see the stink!"
"I hate splitting up!"
"What are you worried about? You've got the big gun!"
"It's about time, I've been waiting to get killed all day."
"Let's see your hunting licence and registration!"
"Yeah, I bet it gave you a real fight!"
"The door's locked? They're hiding something!"
"Aw jeez, I almost got killed for this?!"
Pure comedy!
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound= |
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Sun Aug 14, 2005 6:44 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
WoW is a Feeling
"Won't you grind quests with me, endlessly?"
Yeah, I need to get this single when it's released.
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound= |
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Thu Oct 20, 2005 7:52 pm |
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EverythingXen
Arch-villain
Joined: 01 Feb 2002
Posts: 4342
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I saw that one a while ago. Pretty accurate and fun.
_________________
Estuans interius, Ira vehementi
"The old world dies and with it the old ways. We will rebuild it as it should be, MUST be... Immortal!"
=Member of the Nonflamers Guild=
=Worshipper of the Written Word= |
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Fri Oct 21, 2005 4:00 pm |
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Kamahl
King of Spam
Joined: 29 Apr 2005
Posts: 1668
Location: Slovenia-Ljubljana |
lol ive seen this stuff before dled it from the official site
_________________
Destroy the dark side, we will
De duistere zijde vernietigen, we zullen
Uničili temno stran, bomo mi
die dunkle Seite zerstören, wir sollen |
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Fri Oct 21, 2005 4:03 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
Here's a little something for Lovecraft fans out there! A modern day silent The Call of Cthulhu film! Watch the trailer! Order the DVD and awesome Cthulhu t-shirt today! 
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound= |
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Sun Nov 13, 2005 11:05 pm |
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Kamahl
King of Spam
Joined: 29 Apr 2005
Posts: 1668
Location: Slovenia-Ljubljana |
i have no speakers cuz im on a school comp 
_________________
Destroy the dark side, we will
De duistere zijde vernietigen, we zullen
Uničili temno stran, bomo mi
die dunkle Seite zerstören, wir sollen |
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Mon Nov 14, 2005 8:51 am |
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piln
High Emperor
Joined: 22 May 2003
Posts: 906
Location: Leeds, UK |
Nice one, Val. That looks rather interesting. Have you seen the full film? Kamahl, you're not missing that much without your speakers - not in dialogue, anyway.  Well... my contribution to the bored pages:
some HalfLife 2-based comic thingie. Apologies if it's already been posted - and more apologies if it contains massive HL2 spoilers, Bad Words, or bunny violence (I haven't read it, because I haven't played HL2 yet!) |
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Mon Nov 14, 2005 6:04 pm |
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