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Windwalking
Fearless Paladin
Joined: 05 Jul 2002
Posts: 227
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| Silly RPG cliches and happenings |
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When you think about it, RPGs often have a bunch of silly stuff that we all just overlook and take for granted. Here's a few I can think of:
1) People like to leave gold and magical items in random places in the world and in dungeons. No one ever wants them besides you, because you can wait all year and they'll still be there. Perhaps everyone's just a clean freak?
2) All brigands and other low-level nasty folk are idiots, as evidenced by the fact that these chumps will continually suicide themselves into a guy (or party of guys) who are equipped in glowing armor, glowing (often flaming!)weapons, and enough magical potions and trinkets to be able to hear that clanging racket for miles around.
3) Young lads can, within the course of months, become the most powerful being on the planet (proven by destroying the most powerful being on the planet, who usually is the wicked one).
4) Half of the people in the world have an urgent (or not so urgent) quest to fulfill, and will entrust this quest to a random stranger.
5) Most bad guys have not heard of the concept of "ganging up" on unsuspecting heroes; instead, they appear to be content to send separate waves of increasingly tougher opponents at their would be slayers. Perhaps it is in the Villain's Handbook?
6) Most bad guys are very curious about the would be heroes; instead of killing them immediately, they like to watch their antitheses grow stronger and stronger. Again, this may be in the Villain's Handbook.
7) Most heroes have the uncanny ability to suddenly learn new abilities, feats, and spells at certain intervals, despite sometimes never having any experience with such. "Look ma, I am suddenly an expert at wielding a morning star! Whatever that is!"
Well, that's all I can think of. Your turn 
- Wind |
Wed Aug 28, 2002 11:58 am |
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Michael C
Black Dragon
Joined: 09 Jul 2001
Posts: 1595
Location: Aarhus, Denmark |
Hey I found a map, now I can see monsters, items and other interesting things on the map miles away, and it writes itself when I explore the world.
I got a magic quill who writes down my quests, and experiences.
I can look behind walls and see lurking enemies or hidden chest, because I got the unrealistic RTS like 3rd person view.
My opponents wait until my turn is over in combat!
If I talk to NPC's I can just choose another sentence if the first one was not improving my informations eventhough I insulted the NPC the first time around.
Sometimes even rats loose a platmail when they die, I wonder were they keep it hidden.
I got plenty of time to drink healing potions and such in the middle of a battle if needed!
I seems to forget a spell when I use it, and must read (memorize) it again (AD&D).
Magic in itself is a weird thing!
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Wed Aug 28, 2002 12:45 pm |
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Roach
SBR Belfry Bat
Joined: 20 Jan 2002
Posts: 3233
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quote:
Originally posted by Michael C
I got plenty of time to drink healing potions and such in the middle of a battle if needed!
A good healing potion can cure the most critical of injuries or the worst poisons and diseases. (Imagine how cheap healthcare must be!)
I can almost effortlessly use a sword that’s almost as big as I am.
I can effortlessly carry 300lb. (500km?) in my pack, which by the way is so small you can‘t even see it.
I can run continuously without stopping for a break, until someone attacks me. (while carrying 300lb, in my pack) |
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Wed Aug 28, 2002 2:04 pm |
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Michael C
Black Dragon
Joined: 09 Jul 2001
Posts: 1595
Location: Aarhus, Denmark |
Well should the disease or wounds kill me before I manged to drink a potion, one of my collegues can bring me back with a well known Resurrection spell, or powder, or scroll, which we are carrying around in dozens in our backpack. And you know what, My disease or poison containment is gone after a resurrection, how convienient for my troubles.
Actual by this recept I could live forever!
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Moderator on RPGdot.com Forum.
Member of the Nonflamers guild.
Member of the Sport fan club. |
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Wed Aug 28, 2002 2:12 pm |
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HiddenX
The Elder Spy
Joined: 20 Jul 2001
Posts: 749
Location: NRW / Germany |
- i can swim and climb hills in full plate armor
- i don't need to sleep
- i can slay hundrets of enemies in 10 minutes
- people are always saying the same things to me
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=Member of The Nonflamers' Guild= |
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Wed Aug 28, 2002 2:26 pm |
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Provis
High Emperor
Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 872
Location: Middle of the Forest |
LOL  
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"Yea, so what I didn't like Planescape: Torment, what are you gonna do about it?" - Provis |
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Wed Aug 28, 2002 2:31 pm |
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ButtOfMalmsey
Village Idiot
Joined: 07 May 2002
Posts: 785
Location: Mississippi |
There are chests and barrels and boxes and crates with stuff in them in the middle of rooms, towns, and castles. I don't know about you, but every castle in history had at least one or two strongrooms for money and the like.
_________________
"It has been a grand journey- well-worth making once."
-Winston Churchill, 1965, on Life
I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."
-Homer Simpson
=Member of the Non-Flamers Guild=
=Member of The Sixth House=
::Captain of the Black Company:: |
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Wed Aug 28, 2002 3:10 pm |
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Michael C
Black Dragon
Joined: 09 Jul 2001
Posts: 1595
Location: Aarhus, Denmark |
Well, eventhough my strength got up from 10 to 110, my biceps seems all the same!
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Moderator on RPGdot.com Forum.
Member of the Nonflamers guild.
Member of the Sport fan club. |
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Wed Aug 28, 2002 3:16 pm |
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Jaz
Late Night Spook
Joined: 20 Jan 2002
Posts: 9708
Location: RPGDot |
Nice . The ultimate shooter cliché would be that people climb ladders backwards while firing two weapons at the same time  .
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Jaz |
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Wed Aug 28, 2002 7:23 pm |
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Roach
SBR Belfry Bat
Joined: 20 Jan 2002
Posts: 3233
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quote:
Originally posted by Jaz
The ultimate shooter cliché would be that people climb ladders backwards while firing two weapons at the same time .
How about the fact that in many shooters a person can get shot in the face and live!
Or if someone shoots a rocket at you, you can survive as long as it’s now a direct hit. |
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Wed Aug 28, 2002 7:56 pm |
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Jaz
Late Night Spook
Joined: 20 Jan 2002
Posts: 9708
Location: RPGDot |
This would depend on the genre of the shooter in question. The ultimate shooter cliché, however, has a name: Serious Sam!
...several years ago it would have been Duke Nukem. Oh well.
_________________
Jaz |
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Wed Aug 28, 2002 8:08 pm |
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Neonlite
Eager Tradesman
Joined: 03 Dec 2001
Posts: 27
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- No one gets upset when I barge into their houses/Inn rooms at all hours of the day & night. Some don't even mind if I take their things!
- I can get shot with arrows but they rarely stick and if they do, a drink from a potion will make them disappear!
- I don't have to eat, drink or go to the bathroom and sleep is only for healing and regaining mana!
- I never pay taxes.
- If I'm with a large party I can carry all their dead corpses and belongings back to the temple to resurrect them and they don't even smell bad!
- Some shopkeepers have an awful lot of gold. They never run out when I'm selling to them!
- Why do those half-naked guys with tiny knives keep attacking me when I'm wearing full plate armor and carrying a battle axe? |
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Wed Aug 28, 2002 9:43 pm |
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Kendrik
Thin Blue Line
Joined: 13 Jun 2002
Posts: 550
Location: England |
When I, or one on my party, die a nice cleric will resurrect us (maybe for a price) which allows us to all go on with our questing shinanigans. Curious then, is it not, that Ultimate Bad Guy (TM), who is normally served by cleric hirelings, failed to mention to them that he would rather like to be resurrected as well (if killed by aforementioned heroes) thus creating a slight hole in the whole "Master of the World" plan.
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"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true."
JAMES BRANCH CABELL
~Member of The Nonflamers' Guild~
~~Champion of the (Unofficial) RPGdot Text Signature Contest 2002~~ |
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Wed Aug 28, 2002 11:13 pm |
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Ostsol
Village Dweller
Joined: 28 Jul 2002
Posts: 6
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quote:
Originally posted by Jaz
This would depend on the genre of the shooter in question. The ultimate shooter cliché, however, has a name: Serious Sam!
...several years ago it would have been Duke Nukem. Oh well.
In several years it will be Duke Nukem again, via Duke Nukem: Forever! Of course. . . Serious Sam 10 will be out by then. . . |
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Wed Aug 28, 2002 11:33 pm |
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Ammon77
Village Dweller
Joined: 06 Aug 2002
Posts: 21
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-- I can see myself from outside myself! without mirrors or small puddles of reflectant waters!
-- I had to identify my sword because before I identified my sword I didnt know it was a sword!
-- I dont wear underwear underneath my clothes, because all my clothes are permanently woven into my skin!
-- If you mix brumbleweed with tumbleweed, you get a flask of drinkable liquid that will surely give you gas! but the bright side is that you can now walk on water and dodge sharp-teethed fish who cannot jump out of the water because the Gods made them without brains! i am bubbleboy!
-- The world I am in is copyrighted! what does that mean?!?
-- Some guy is staring at me all day, telling me to do stuff!
-- I dont need to go to the bathroom! ever!
-- I can bake bread in a few seconds!
-- I never get constipated! did i mention I never have to go to the bathroom? thats cuz I've never been in a building that has a bathroom, lol
-- Some guy "saved" me and left me STANDING THERE FOR 15 DAYS!
-- one time, in bandcamp...
hehe |
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Thu Aug 29, 2002 12:18 am |
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