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Remus
Overgrown Cat
Joined: 03 Jul 2002
Posts: 1657
Location: Fish bowl |
| Humorous quotes from Elder Scrolls |
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All humorous quotes below came from various sources of TES lore at UESP and Imperial Library websites.
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on inhabitant/creature
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Imga, Great Ape
It is unsure whether to classify the Imga as a non-intelligent creature or as a barely sentient race. Either way, they are a fasinating native beastfolk to the forests of Valenwood. They see the Aldemeri as their masters and as an ideal society. The apes often go to desperate measures to emulate the High Elves such as wearing capes, dueling swords, and speaking and acting with courtly manners and perfect enunciation despite their baritone voices. In extreme cases the apes shave their entire bodies and powder them white to appear more like the Aldmeri. All Imga have a title of some sort (Baron, Duke, Earl, etc...) which they use when addressing members of the Thalmor. The apes, like many of the Aldmeri, feel that the humans are lesser beastfolk and pretend that their smell offends them, holding the perfumed corner of their cloak when humans are present.
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on holidays
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-Rain's Hand 28th, Jester's Day
Be warned that today is Jester's Day in the city of all provinces, and pranks are being set up from one end of town to the other. It is as if a spell has been cast over the community, for even the most taciturn and dignified councilman might attempt to play a joke on his relative. The Thieves Guild finds particular attention as everyone looks for pickpockets in particular.
-Second Seed 30th, Fishing Day
Fishing Day is a big celebration for the Bretons who live off the bounty of the Iliac Bay. They are not a usually flamboyant people, but on Fishing Day, they make so much noise, fish have been scared away for weeks.
-Sun's Dusk 20th, Warriors Festival
Today is the 20th of Sun's Dusk, the Warriors Festival in this city. Most all the local warriors, spellswords, and rogues come to the equipment stores and blacksmiths where all weapons are half price. Unfortunately, the low prices also tempt many an untrained boy to buy his first sword and the normally quiet city streets ring with amateur skirmishes. The mayor has pardoned most of these ruffians in the past, but has promised to be less merciful this year. Summoning day of Mehrunes Dagon for the Mehrune's Razor.
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Daggerfall jokes
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1) A big Nord named Julgen was set on by a gang of thieves. He fought them furiously, but in the end, they beat him into semiconsciousness. They searched his pockets and discovered that he only had three gold pieces on him.
"Do you mean to tell us you fought us like a mad lupe for three lousy gold pieces?" sneered one of the thieves.
"No," answered Julgen. "I was afraid you were after the four hundred gold pieces in my boot."
2) What do you call a Wood Elf who doesn't lie or cheat or steal?
A dead Wood Elf.
3) Yelithah told Vathysah that she was having dinner with a Dark Elf named Morleth that night.
"I hear he's an animal," said Vathysah. "He'll rip your dress right off you."
"Thank you for telling me," said Yelithah, "I'll be sure to wear an old dress." |
Tue Jan 21, 2003 11:51 am |
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