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Revenge (story. chapter 1,2 and 3 till now)
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Neo_Genesis
The Assassin
The Assassin




Joined: 10 Aug 2003
Posts: 3050
Location: The Netherlands
Revenge (story. chapter 1,2 and 3 till now)
   

there are still spelling mistakes, I didn't removed them yet.

----------------------------------------

Life is a gift, you don't use it as a privilegde. I used it well, and did everything I planned to do. but not in one life, in two. in the first life, I was a normal guard, and used what was given to me. I used my gift well. my second life, I was a hunter. I didn't used what was given, I took what I need.

-Life and Death
Many years ago, I had a lovely wife, and a great son. They ment everything for me. We lives in this street. I was captain of the guard, my qife worked in the palace. My son was only eight, but went with my wife every day. When I came home every evening, I got a warm welcome. My son jumped at me like a happy dog, and I liked that. My wife gave me a passioned kiss, which mostly turned out to be a happy night. but one evening, when I came home, the lights were out. My son didn’t jumped at me. My wife didn’t kissed me. They weren’t in the house. Everything was a mess, the table was split in two. Chairs were broken. Plates and cups were all over the floor. The windows were broken too. I took a few steps, avoiding things that could make noice. When I reached the door to the living room, I stopped. People were talking in the room. I put my ear against the door, and listened.
‘I say we just kill them, he is gonna get here anyway,’ A man said. But he got an angry answer. ‘He is unbelievable strong, no way we can take him out without his family as hostages.’
My mind flipped. There were people in my house, who wanted to kill me. I fought before, I killed before. But I never had any strong resistance. These people were out for my death, this would be much harder. Slowly, I took out my sword. A beautiful, large sword, with all kinds of insciptures. My name was carved in the wooden grip. The steel of the blade was very rare, I was taken out of the caves from the Rirunor, the Dwarves. They forged it with many men together, to make it perfect. Once the caves were empty, the royal soldiers went in, and took every valuable item in the cave. They made this sword for me, because I was the leader of that quest.
‘I hear something in the other room!’ one man screamed, followed by footsteps. Before I even managed to move, the door opened. I tumbled in.
‘who do we have here?’ one of them grinsed. He was dressed in hides, and was carrying a rusted axe. Another one was equiped with a bow. And had a leather armor. He didn’t grinned, but looked angry, fiers… serious. In the end of the room stood a tall man, dressed in a black cloack. His face was hidden. And he didn’t held any weapon. But he was the one that spoke.
‘kill him,’ were the only words he said. But the other two men listened, and attacked. The first one who reached me, was already dead before even lifting his weapon. The second one shot one arrow, but missed. I ran to him, but he was quick. He took a small dagger out of his armor, and jabbed at me. A lucky hit. My left arm was bleeding, but nothing very dangarous. I gave him a quick kill, so I didn’t woke the neighbours.
‘so now it’s just you and me,’ I said, and started walking towards him. He didn’t moved. When I stood in front of him, he still didn’t moved.
‘who are you?’ I growled.
He raised his hands, I stepped back, lifting my sword. But he didn’t attacked me. He reached for his cap, and removed it. I wished he didn’t. his face was mutilated. Covered with scars, burning wounds and white spots. One eye was only a dark hole, and the other one had no pupil. He had a half nose, and his mouth was a small stripe, he had no lips.
‘I am Kamor, and old servant of the mighty Lord Lumar.’ He said, with a strange voice.
‘Jurin? He died hundeds of years ago. If you serve him, you serve a dead skeleton.’
He stepped forward, and his eyebrows (well… small black striped) went down. He looked angry at me.
‘Don’t say that about my Lord! Yes, he died many years ago, but his soul still lives on. And that is what I serve. I am his high Priest. He gives me all the orders. And his first order was to kill you.
I was startled, everything he said was nonsence. ‘Why would a dark Lord who died hunders years ago, kill me?’
‘Because you are a thread to him. He wants you gone before you can do any harm to him or his servants.’
When he said that, his hands started to glow. A small orange ball appeared in his hands. It became larger, and larger. Then, suddenly, I felt a terrible pain. He shot the fireball. The heat was too much. I fell on my knees. My hands were burning, it looked like they were melting. My hair was burning away. My clothes were falling off. Every inch of my body felt the pain. Then, it was over.
I fell into a black hole, everything around me was darkness. I didn’t felt anything, I didn’t think anything. The only thing I did, was lying there. My eyes were closed, but I knew there wouldn’t be any light when I opened them. I felt quite happy, no thoughts, nothing to worry about. My wife and son didn’t ment anything for me anymore. Everything which was complicated, became simple: just don’t think about it. Nothing to hard to do, because if I tried to think, everything just became more black, and I forgot more. So I just waited, and waited. It looked like a lifetime, but finally, finally I landed on a hard, stone floor. And I opened my eyes.


-Reborn
A dark room, made of stone, was all I saw. It was cold, something I didn’t felt for a long time. It felt nice. My view was blurry, but it was good enough to see a man coming in the room. He was holding a burning torch.
‘Finally, I thought we would never manage to rewake you,’ was all he said, and left the room again. I kept lying, I couldn’t move. I managed to turn my head, and looked at my right arm. It was a bone, with skin. All the muscles I once had, where gone. I tried to lift my arm, but failed. So all I did was lying on the floor, for a long time.
I woke up again, but this time in another room. I was lying on a wooden table, the room looked the same. But in this room there were many torches attached to the wall. Two men were talking, but when one of them saw I woke up, they stopped. He walked towards me, and looked me in the eyes.
‘It took way too long, I think we never will be able to get you fit again,’ he said. The other man walked at the other side of the table. He shaked his head. ‘Maybe not, but we have to try. He was a strong man, he had a strong will. Maybe he is able to recover. Ofcourse not completely, but he can get strong enough to fight again.’
My view got better. I looked one of them in the eyes, and I remembered his face. I tried to spreak, but didn’t come further then opening my mouth. But he understood me, he grinsed. ‘Yes, Alchon. It is me, Geno.’
I remembered my name, it was Alchon. Captain of the royal guard. Stationed in the City of Myaden. I got killed. I don’t know what happened to my wife and son. They were alive when I got killed. But I was alive again, I don’t know how, I still don’t know, Geno never wanted to tell me, but I still thank him for that. It looked like those thaughts gave me new strength, because I moved my face, opened my mouth, and spoke.
‘Geno, my friend. Where am I?’ was what I said.
‘You are in the sewers of Myaden, this was the only place where we would be able to revive you.’
‘That explains the awfull smell,’ I said, and managed to create a smile.
‘It looks like you still didn’t lost your humor,’ grinsed Geno. ‘But be quiet now, you need rest, lots of rest.’ After those words, both men left the room, and I closed my eyes.
The next few days I didn’t spoke, I just ate, and slept. I didn’t saw Geno, because the water and bread was braught by other people, people I didn’t knew. I learned a lot by listening. The men started talking, without taking notice of me. It seemed that Geno hired them to revive me, they tried it for 3 years, without succes. Geno was about to give up, when it succeeded. The man who did it got a huge reward, and left right after that. His body was found two days later. After my revival, I didn’t woke up. Two weeks later Geno thaught he failed again, but I woke up.
Finally, after three weeks eating and sleeping, I managed to put my feet on the ground, and I stood. It felt great, but fainful. I couldn’t walk yet, but was happy to stand. I managed to walk seven days after that, but only small walks, maybe 4 or 5 steps. It went that way for months, maybe a year. When I was fit again, I started training. First fighting with bare hands. After that with wooden sticks, and even swords. I remembered the days when I still was a proffesional fighter, but now I would even had trouble beating up little kids.
‘Alchon, are you there?’ it was Geno’s voice. I stood up, and walked to the door. I opened it. Geno walked in, with two men behind him, they carried a chest.
‘Hello Geno, long time no see. It’s almost 4 months ago we saw eachother,’ I said, while sitting down. The two men put down the chest, and took a chair.
‘Alchon,’ started Geno. ‘That night, when I came to you house, to warn you. I heared men talking about killing you. When I came at your house, it was burning. I could see a black cloacked man walking outside, and dissapeared in the darkness. I ran to your house, and searched for you. I found you, totally burned, you son and wife were gone. My men searched for them, but never found them. We took you here. Together with your belongings.’ The two men opened the chest, I saw a sword on top of some cloths.
‘the cloack you weared when you were killed was burned, but we found this on in your closet.’ Geno took a black cloak from the chest, and showed it to me. ‘try it on,’ he said.
I took the cloack, and put it on. It felt good, it was of good quality. I remembered this cloack, it was my so-called spy cloack. Because I always used it when I went out to investigate things.
‘Thanks, Geno,’ I said.
Then he took a sword from the chest, he showed it to me.
‘your old perfect sword, the best from the country, He laughed. I took the sword, it felt heavy, but that was because I was still weak. I made a few swings, and put in in my belt. ‘haha, no. you have a holder for that.’ Geno gave me the holder, which I put on my belt with a rope. And then put the sword in it.
‘you almost look like before, only you have less muscles, and ofcourse your face is a mess.’
‘my face is a mess?’ I asked.
‘yes, ofcourse, it was totally burned. Your face is one big scar.’
I touched my face, it had a strange skin, with strange holes, and turns. I realised I never thought my face would be such a mess.
‘but, people will be scared if they see this,’ I said.
‘I know,’ continues Geno. ‘that why we are going to the Witch next week.’
I knew the Witch, she healed people’s wounds, but for a high price. Sometimes the price was a child, sometimes you had to give you your son. Or you had to give her much money, very much.
‘why the Witch? He prices are way too much? Or you have to go to bed with her.’
‘I know,’ Geno’s face became dark, and his smile dissapeared. ‘she will have my son,’ he said.
‘What? No! No, you can’t do that Geno, people will laugh at you, they will kick you, hit you, all because the Witch bares your son.’ I yelled.
‘People think I’m dead!’ he replied, much harder. ‘They think I died together with you in that house, because I never walked out when I entered.’
We stopped talking, it was quiet for a long time. Then Geno stood up, and walked away. One of the men took out a bag full of coins, and a dagger. He gave them to me, and then he left with his companion.
I was alone, again.

-New Plans
I searched the chest, and found a letter, which I started to read.

To Geno,
After searching your house twice we didn’t found any trace of Alchon’s wife or son. We brought Alchon to the room. He is all burned. There isn’t much change we can bring him back to life. But we will do our best. I’ll let you know when we succeeded.
Myo.


It al was clear to me now, there were more people who wanted to revive me, maybe a whole group. But why? Why would they want to revive me, I was just a captain, not somebody special.
‘I see you read the letter,’ said someone from the other end of the room. I turned around, and saw an old man, unknown to me. He smiled.
‘ineed, you don’t know me. I am Myo, the writer of that letter. I am also a good friend of Geno. And the reason why I wanted to revive you, was because of the second thing you thaught, you are important.’
‘but, but I thaught those things, I didn’t said them. How…’ startled I.
‘don’t worry, I am a physical. I can read minds. But I won’t read yours, I don’t want to see any of your private thaughts,’ he answered.
‘but why am I important?’ I asked.
‘you don’t know yet, but you have a special gift. You have the gift to understand the Demon’s language. That’s why you understood the man in the black robe, who killed you. He is from another world, he is a Demon. But you understood him, and that is the key to victory. I will tell you the plan.
Lumar, the Demon Lord, hires humans as assasins. But only the special humans, the one with the gift to understand their language. Usually, a man with that gift, becomes eveil from his childhood. But you didn’t, that’s why he sent a Demon to you so you wouldn’t be in his way. The humans able to understand the Demons, can defeat them, Lumar knows that. All the human assasins don’t. he pays them good, so they won’t start rebellion.
You must go there, and volunteer for assasin. When he hired you, you must climb up to a high position, by doing many jobs.’
‘do I have to do jobs for him? What kind of jobs?’ I said.
‘mostly to kill important humans,’ Myo answered.
‘what? Do I have to kill people?’ I startled.
‘no, when you get an assignment, come to me. I will make sure it will look like your mission was a succes. If you do it quick, you will become an even more imporant man, because Lumar wants fast and good men. Once you have gained an important position in their army, try to get information. Information about their weaknesses, about their defences, their numbers. Even how much food they have. Try to get as much information as you can get. Then we can invade with out special army,’ ‘you special army?’ I interupted.
‘yes, our special army. We have an army of well trained men, who know everything about the demons. But I need to know when, and how we can attack best.’
‘I don’t even know where Lumar is!’ I was becoming a bit angry about this strange idea.
‘I know that, I will send you there, and teach you to come there yourself.’ He camly said.
‘but why don’t you invade it now, if you know where it is?’
‘because I don’t know how much men he has, or how good their defences are. And it’s not easy to teach more than a thousand men how to teleport there.’
‘but what about my revenge? I want to take revenge at the one who killed me, at the one who killed my family!’ I yelled.
‘you can have your change, when we invade, you may kill Kamor, the one who killed you. But it was only an assignment of Lumar.’
‘then I will kill Lumar too!’
The discussion was ended, Myo left the room. And I ate something. After some time Geno entered the room.
‘Myo told you everything, do you accept the misson?’
‘if I can take my revenge, yes. I will do it, but if I get the change to kill Kamor. If I will meet him when he is alone, he will not live!’
‘but first, come with me. We are going to the Witch.’ Geno said.

This was the first time I went out of the dark halls and rooms. We went up a small, long stairway. The higher we went, the brighter the light became. We reaches a door, made of strong wood. There was no lock on it, but Geno took a key from his pocket, and put it in the wall. The door opened.
I saw nothing, so bright was the light. I was used to the dark. I spent more then a year in those dark halls. But now, I was back on the world, back with other people, I felt alive again. We were in a small shop, nothing more then a grey wall, and two lamps. A small desk in front. It was a potionshop, I smelled it, and saw all kinds of potions. The door was open, and we walked outside. Nothing was changed. The streets looked the same, the houses looked the same. Even the people were the same. There were normal citizens, which all wearedt he same suit. The richer onces were easy to find, they had a beautitful suit, and many rings and diamonds. We crossed the marketplace, were all kinds of people sold their stuff. It was very crowded, and I had trouble keeping track of Geno. We left the city trough the west gate. I walked this path many times when I was still a soldier. At a fork we went left, but went off the path immediately. As we continued walking deeper and deeper into the woods, it became darker again. My eyes stopepd hurting, and I felt good.
‘there it is,’ said Geno, after walking for hours.
A few metres further, there was a cave. In front of it stood a statue of Murtyo, our most beloved god. When we entered the cave, we were welcomed by many candles, litting up the cave. It was a simple cave, nothing more then an alchemist banch, a chest, some chairs, a bed and a desk. A women stood in front of the alchemist banch, but when we came closer she turned around.
‘hello Geno, nice to see you again,’ she said. She had a strange face, and she didn’t had a nose. He eyes were big, and her mouth was small. She had long, very long brown hair. Then she turned to me.
‘and hello Alchon, I remember you,’ she grinned. I was surprised, because I didn’t knew her.
‘do I know you?’ I asked.
‘yes you do, but I don’t want to discuss that now, we have work to do.’
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Post Mon Aug 30, 2004 8:12 pm
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Patriot
Small Tiger
Small Tiger




Joined: 31 May 2004
Posts: 1421
Location: Athens,Greece
Re: Revenge (story. chapter 1,2 and 3 till now)
   

What's all this things you've posted. I'm bored to read allthis.I read life and dath but I found them boring so I didn't continiue.
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Last edited by Patriot on Tue Aug 31, 2004 3:40 pm; edited 1 time in total
Post Mon Aug 30, 2004 10:10 pm
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Neo_Genesis
The Assassin
The Assassin




Joined: 10 Aug 2003
Posts: 3050
Location: The Netherlands
   

it's called a story, ever heard of it?... it you think it's stupid (it's the d, not t) then don't post here. don't even bother reading it, it's not good enough for you, right?
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Post Tue Aug 31, 2004 9:14 am
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Patriot
Small Tiger
Small Tiger




Joined: 31 May 2004
Posts: 1421
Location: Athens,Greece
   

I've read the rest of the story.It was good but I didn't like it much.
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Last edited by Patriot on Tue Aug 31, 2004 3:42 pm; edited 1 time in total
Post Tue Aug 31, 2004 12:04 pm
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Cm
Sentinel of Light
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Joined: 26 Jan 2003
Posts: 5209
Location: Missouri USA
   

Neo, I liked it. As you said, a few typo's but now you realize you have to finish it. I want to see how it ends.

@Patriot. If I may give you a bit of advice. If you don't like something someone posts, don't call it stupid for starters. Best might be just don't comment. This is the AOT so posting it here is not wrong. If it is, the mods for the AOT will tell him.
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Post Tue Aug 31, 2004 1:39 pm
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Neo_Genesis
The Assassin
The Assassin




Joined: 10 Aug 2003
Posts: 3050
Location: The Netherlands
   

thanks Cm, I will continue the story, and I am planning to make 6 ot 7 chapters. but my Word 2000 blocked itself, because I forgot to activate it. now I have to wait for a new disk
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Post Tue Aug 31, 2004 1:51 pm
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Jaz
Late Night Spook
Late Night Spook




Joined: 20 Jan 2002
Posts: 9708
Location: RPGDot
   

Neo, please continue, I want to see how this goes on before I dare to make a comment .

@patriot: As has been said so often before - if you don't have anything of value to add to a thread, JUST DON'T POST.

Constructive criticism is NOT calling a story stupid before you have read it in toto. So you don't like the story, okay, but you will help the author only by giving (detailed) reasons for your dislike, and perhaps tips about how to improve it in your opinion.

It seems you still don't understand that this aggressive attitude of yours is not appreciated here.

EDIT

Why shouldn't stories be posted in in this forum? Things posted in AOT need not be RPGDot-related, just conform to the general posting rules.
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Post Tue Aug 31, 2004 2:13 pm
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Neo_Genesis
The Assassin
The Assassin




Joined: 10 Aug 2003
Posts: 3050
Location: The Netherlands
   

I am planning on installing my old Word 97 again, and with that I will write the next chapter. but don't think it will be up the next few days, I'm very slow with writing stories.
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Post Tue Aug 31, 2004 2:32 pm
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Graham 2
High Emperor
High Emperor




Joined: 29 Jan 2004
Posts: 795
Location: Preston/England
   

I liked it
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Post Tue Aug 31, 2004 2:34 pm
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Patriot
Small Tiger
Small Tiger




Joined: 31 May 2004
Posts: 1421
Location: Athens,Greece
   

Okay one more question.Where did you find it.
And how many chapters you'll post.

@Jaz:If you remember in my thread(g3)there were a bunch of guy(germans and they were newbeis)who made critism of the info I've posted and they've gone offtopic.All the info was original but they didn't aprecieded.
That's my opinion.i don't care for the rest of the people's opinion.Some guys'll like it others not.It's that simple.I don't have nothing against Neo.I only said my opinion.If you don't like stupit I'll edit my post.That's why Neo write that.He wanted to know if this story is interesting
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Post Tue Aug 31, 2004 3:36 pm
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Kiwi Boy
High Emperor
High Emperor




Joined: 03 Jan 2003
Posts: 1086
   

Didn't read the entire story, but I like it so far. For some reason, some kind of dark omen was falling upon me when I read the first few paragraphs. Dunno why.

Nevertheless, you are correct: quite a few spelling mistakes indeed. Hopefully you'll correct them very soon.

Way to go, Neo. Looking forward to seeing you finish the series.

EDIT: Edited out some nonsense stuff.


Last edited by Kiwi Boy on Wed Sep 01, 2004 3:30 am; edited 1 time in total
Post Tue Aug 31, 2004 3:48 pm
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Mercenary
Helpful Friend
Helpful Friend




Joined: 25 Nov 2002
Posts: 2874
Location: Chromanin
   

Very, very nice story Neo I have one too and I think you already read it. Anyway very nice story continue as fast as you can
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Post Tue Aug 31, 2004 9:01 pm
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Patriot
Small Tiger
Small Tiger




Joined: 31 May 2004
Posts: 1421
Location: Athens,Greece
   

Okay I've to admit.I was good but try to make the ret of the story interesting from the first line so the reader wants to read the rest of it .
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Post Tue Aug 31, 2004 10:06 pm
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DA UNDERTAKER
souls will cry
souls will cry




Joined: 02 Jun 2004
Posts: 824
Location: Athens, Greece
   

it was a great story but... you really should finish it.
Post Tue Aug 31, 2004 10:38 pm
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Neo_Genesis
The Assassin
The Assassin




Joined: 10 Aug 2003
Posts: 3050
Location: The Netherlands
   

I am currently writing chapter 4, which will all go about his new face . I think it will be finished in the next 3 or 4 days (yes, I know it takes long, but I need time to think of what kind of things I want to put in my story, and since I'm not english. and still quite young, I can't spell every word in correct english).
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