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My poem In The Dark

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RPGDot Forums > Absolutely Off Topic

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Punkroxor
Village Dweller

Joined: 12 Nov 2004
Posts: 1
Location: Germany

My poem In The Dark

There are times when I'm inconsolable
when the world around me becomes too much
and my demons come out to feast on me again
There are times when I'm hopeless
when I'm too lost to return home
and I don't need your comforting touch
I just need to be left alone to sit quietly in the dark

Don't offer me a friendly hand
nor a tender embrace of love
Just let me surround myself with shadows
and let my troubles eat me whole
Don't try to save me when I can't be saved
and keep your tender words for another day
a day when the tides of my heart have changed
and my soul flows the other way

But until that time remember that I love you
and that you're still the keeper of my heart
but for the moment love is not my friend
and your tender touch and sweetest smile
are like poison to my aching soul
So let me be
Let me sit alone in the dark
Let me find comfort in forgotten lusts
Let me bandage my heart with solitude
and dry my tears with time

I know that you understand
and I pray that you'll return
Because I long for when I can emerge from these shadows
and once again cherish the smile glistening
across your sweet, tender face

if you liked or didnt like please post the problems and qualiteis

Fri Nov 12, 2004 5:36 am

Cm
Sentinel of Light

Joined: 26 Jan 2003
Posts: 5209
Location: Missouri USA

First let me say welcome to the Dot.

As for your work it is very good. I liked it. I do think you could drop a few "and"s here and there to make the flow easier. But it is good.

_________________
=Member of the Nonflamers Guild=
=Member of Worshippers of the Written Word=
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Mark Twain

Fri Nov 12, 2004 5:54 am

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