Death says, "You have no idea how to play this game, do you?"

Of course I do! It's basically a fancy version of checkers! And I'm TOTALLY awesome at checkers - even Chinese checkers! Although I'm not playing that right now - SARS and all that, you know. But look, they play the game on the same boards - and if anything, chess has MORE pieces to it than checkers, so that's even MORE chances for me to get kinged!