I must be the luckiest person in the world! I finally have a valid excuse for wearing tights and a cape 24/7. No more will I have to endure sidelong glances from others as I stand, chin held high, hands on my hips, resplendent in my tight, purple body stocking, as it hugs every bulge and curve, small wiry black hairs poking through looking like a mauve bag of spiders or some furry eggplant; my neon yellow cape fluttering in the breeze behind me while I refuel my car and gaze through my mask keeping an eye out for evildoers everywhere.