I mean, I’m an Elf – albeit a dark one. Surely I should at least have been bestowed with grace and terrible beauty. Nope; instead I’m some bandy-legged, plum-skinned, green-haired, yellow-eyed …cartoon. Don’t even mention the ears.

To make matters worse, I chose to look like this. Not that World of Warcraft offers much of a choice. The scowling pirate look was right out, which only left the severe-looking Elf, the spiky-haired severe-looking Elf and the bearded spiky-haired severe-looking Elf. This was not what the box-art promised.