I "played" my first computer game in December, that's right, December.

Okay... it wasn't the first time I'd ever tried a computer game... but it was the first time I'd been overwhelmed by a game. It was the first time I'd been obsessed with a game. It was the first time I'd ever been transported to a distant and magical land full of adventure and it was powerful!

Gothic was unlike any other game I'd ever seen, (not that there were that many) the world, so beautiful, vibrant and alive immediately drew me in! The NPC's, so believable, so lifelike, they almost felt like friends... powerful Diego, so influential that he was even able to protect me from the vicious and oppressive guards. Wise old Corristo, the arch mage of fire... so comforting and serene. Solemn and introspective Lee, the fallen general, imprisoned because of his influence over the king of Myrtana. And, of course, Xardas... the mysterious, enigmatic and reclusive necromancer who's very tower was accessible only by a teleportation rune!

The villains, just as believable, inspired true feelings of dread and disgust! Mighty Gomez and his Ore barons, the de facto rulers of the Khorinis penal mining colony. Arrogant Cor Kolom with his army of zealotous novices and certainly the Sleeper itself -- a dormant extra-dimensional demon whose influence dominated all of Khorinis!

The colony was a world alive like no other, no game that I've played since has approached the immersion level that I experienced in Gothic. The colony was meant for exploration and this I did. I looked in every single nook and cranny; I left no stone unturned. I completed the game three times and it remains the only game that I've ever replayed. This was my downfall, Gothic was my gateway drug into the world of CRPG gaming.

Every game I've played since Gothic has been an attempt to recapture the magic I once felt. I've played some good games... some very good games... but absolutely none have been as engaging as Gothic. I think I finally understand why. Throughout our lives we will have hundreds of experiences, among these we will find a few that become our great loves. No matter how long we pursue any these interests, however, few will ever give us the same level of wonderment that we felt that first time. That sense of wonderment is the feeling of something completely new, something unexpected that overwhelms us and sweeps us away!

I was reading a thread here on RPGdot a little while ago--it was about all the Star Wars films -- whether the new films were better or the old ones were better. Both series of films have their fans and the debate became rather heated to say the least. At first I couldn't really understand what all the fuss was about. Not being a fan of the franchise means that all of the Star Wars films strike me as juvenile, formulaic projects that feel like low budget 'B' movies in spite of their production costs. The acting itself is an odd mix of generally terrible performances sprinkled with a few shining gems by truly great actors trying desperately to deliver painfully banal lines in a manner that won't end their careers (Sir Alec Guinness, Peter Cushing or Liam Neeson anyone?). Suddenly I realized what Star Wars does have, it has scope and grandeur! These films are huge, epic, truly massive wonders unlike virtually any other films in their genre! The first time a fan sees a Star Wars film they are overwhelmed! They can hardly take it all in and they become swept away to this fantastic place. The reason that none of the films that follow seem as good as the first one is because no film can give them the same feeling again. Certainly the new films may impress the fan but they absolutely can't completely surprise them which makes the films seem less well executed -- while to a non-fan the films are just six of one and a half dozen of the other. It was then that I realized that Gothic was a once in lifetime experience for me.

In retrospect, I'm glad I've pursued other games in an effort to recapture the "Gothic" feeling... I've found some real gems. Undying, Resident Evil and System Shock 2 are amazing games that come close but, in the end, they just weren't as amazing as Gothic. I have been (and still am) anticipating Gothic 2 above all other games. I used to think that G2 would give me the same thrill as the original Gothic but I realize now that it won't. No game will ever be the next Gothic to me, it simply can't, because the first time only happens once.

I play computer games, I play every day, it's something I never thought I would do. I used to think that computer games were kind of silly, you know, just for pimply kids and creepy thirty year old basement dwellers who live with their mothers. Imagine my surprise when I discovered just how addictive computer games really are! These games are now my most consistent form of entertainment, they are the first place I turn when I'm trying to think of something to do. Certainly I have other interests as well, but when I come home at the end of the day I launch Neverwinter Nights rather than going all the way to the archery range -- I reserve that for Sunday. Hmmm... who'd have thought?

So... I guess I'll head off to Khorinis. I haven't been there in a really long time and I love the feeling of nostalgia that I get every time I visit. I'm looking forward to seeing some old friends and doing a little catching up. If you've never been to Khorinis I sincerely recommend it, you owe it to yourself. Maybe I'll see you there!

My name is Gig... and I'm a gamer.