Something's been lost in the translation. That's the kindest way to sum up Paradise Cracked, a turn-based strategy game in the tradition of X-COM from Russian developer Mist Land. Although the game collected awards from critics in "Mother Russia" when it was originally released in 2002, the English version is so disastrous that Irwin Allen should get a co-credit. Tedious gameplay, a plot that veers between goofy and incomprehensible, and an alphabet soup of grammatical errors render Paradise Cracked almost unplayable, let alone enjoyable.