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Secret Agent Lawanda
The last thing you see...
Joined: 23 Oct 2003
Posts: 1041
Location: World of Darkness (LA) |
| A little joke... hehehehe |
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A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and weapons. He finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes to the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict! Look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us! Be strong, honey. I love you!!"
To which the wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too!!"
*grin*
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-=Professional Secret Agent=-
Moderator of The Anime and Manga Fan Club |
Thu Mar 18, 2004 7:07 pm |
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Mercenary
Helpful Friend
Joined: 25 Nov 2002
Posts: 2874
Location: Chromanin |
Hillarous (spelling ?)
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-=Captain of Militia of RPGDot Shadows=-
-=Leader of Mercenaries of Gothic Rogues=-
-=Proud member of NFG=-
-=Forever one soul of Seekers of Chromanin=-
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Thu Mar 18, 2004 7:33 pm |
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Neo_Genesis
The Assassin
Joined: 10 Aug 2003
Posts: 3050
Location: The Netherlands |
*falling of chair*
just too funny
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Always wondering how it would be... |
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Thu Mar 18, 2004 7:37 pm |
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Chekote
Where’s my Banana?!?!
Joined: 08 Mar 2002
Posts: 1540
Location: Dont know, looks kind of green |
Well at least he's sensitive enough to use vasaline 
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IMHO my opinion is humble |
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Thu Mar 18, 2004 7:58 pm |
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Ozymandias
Leader of the Senate
Joined: 26 Apr 2003
Posts: 319
Location: Otherland |
Good one.
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"There is no way around it. Correct is correct. I am correct, therefore I win."
Roqua
Disclaimer: I can not be held responsible for anything whatsoever as a result of you reading this post. |
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Thu Mar 18, 2004 8:58 pm |
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Lintra
Elf Friend
Joined: 23 Apr 2002
Posts: 9448
Location: Bermuda, the triangle place with SANDY BEACHES |
Good one!!
Reminds me of one Corwin posted recently:
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A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.
She was a very good looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
However, one o'clock came and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. He returned around two-thirty and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her.
"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.
"Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
"Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.
"Now take off my bra." Again with trembling hands he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Now," she said, "take off my panties." By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off.
Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, I'll fire you on the spot.
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=Member of The Nonflamers' Guild=
=Just plain clueless= |
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Fri Mar 19, 2004 5:48 pm |
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Mercenary
Helpful Friend
Joined: 25 Nov 2002
Posts: 2874
Location: Chromanin |
@Lintra (Originaly at Corwin)
LOL
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-=Captain of Militia of RPGDot Shadows=-
-=Leader of Mercenaries of Gothic Rogues=-
-=Proud member of NFG=-
-=Forever one soul of Seekers of Chromanin=-
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Fri Mar 19, 2004 7:13 pm |
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA |
@Lawanda: That's hilarious!
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Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound=  |
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Fri Mar 19, 2004 9:07 pm |
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