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Corrupt a Wish
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RPGDot Forums > Absolutely Off Topic

Author Thread
weirdo2590
Protector of the Realm
Protector of the Realm




Joined: 09 Jun 2005
Posts: 251
Location: Look behind you
   

Granted you get the metal horse off burnt face man "my radar hooves detect danger"


I wish for a sniper rifle with bullets, and a lisence to kill to hunt kamahl with.
_________________
# It's a badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger badger, badger, badger, badger, badger,badger.
Mushrom, Mushroom.....#
Post Thu Nov 10, 2005 6:59 pm
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piln
High Emperor
High Emperor




Joined: 22 May 2003
Posts: 906
Location: Leeds, UK
   

Granted, your fancy new HK PSG1 squeezes through your letterbox tomorrow morning, along with your license and caps. You stalk your prey for several days, he leads you round and round, back and forth, and eventually the opportunity comes - you take aim, hold your breath, squeeze the trigger...
BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!
BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!
BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!
BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!

...

the smoke clears

...

Unfortunately, you forgot to wish for any kind of firearms training, and you missed every time. Not only that, but you were facing back towards your neighbourhood and several of your strays took out the family pets of all the houses surrounding your own. Mr & Mrs. Johnsons' parrot? Decapitated; they found his beak three weeks later, embedded in the roof of the phone booth accross the street. Old Mrs. Lloyd's Chinchilla? Exploded in a puff of white fur; they're still scraping parts of him off her false teeth. Benny the chameleon, over at your pal Dave's house? Sucking chest wound. And what of little orphan Stacey's pet duck, Mr. Quacks (himself an orphan)? Gutshot and died screaming.
Your once-peaceful days are shattered by the tormented wails of children and adults alike, unable to comprehend the cruel and swift loss of their beloved critters; your nights are haunted by the squeaks, honks, colour-cycling and human-voice-mimicry of those poor animals you wronged. But you learned an important lesson about violence:

Spoiler:
SHOOT STRAIGHT, FOOL!




i WISH I'D REMEMBERED TO TURN caps lock OFF!
Post Thu Nov 10, 2005 9:01 pm
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Kamahl
King of Spam
King of Spam




Joined: 29 Apr 2005
Posts: 1668
Location: Slovenia-Ljubljana
   

because urm ind cant remember everything especially when it comes to remembering that ur capslock is on


i wish badger would stop his wishing of killing me cuz he fails uterlly on this o ne
_________________
Destroy the dark side, we will
De duistere zijde vernietigen, we zullen
Uničili temno stran, bomo mi
die dunkle Seite zerstören, wir sollen
Post Thu Nov 10, 2005 10:05 pm
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cptmaxon
High Emperor
High Emperor




Joined: 19 Jun 2003
Posts: 557
Location: Israel
   

granted he stops wishing to kill you, and takes out his Ramigton hunting rifle with scope, put you in the sights , Blam Blam, two neat holes where your heart used to be, you are now dead, and he doesn't have to with you dead anymore yay

I wish for fallout 3 released by interplay, with the same s.p.e.c.a.i.l system and turn base comabt .
_________________
"We're still flying"
"it's not much"
"It's enough"
Post Thu Nov 10, 2005 10:58 pm
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Risen From Ashes




Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA
   

Granted, it is released 20 years from now.

I wish for a gold mine.
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound=
Post Fri Nov 11, 2005 12:38 am
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cptmaxon
High Emperor
High Emperor




Joined: 19 Jun 2003
Posts: 557
Location: Israel
   

granted now you need some peons to work it for you, and start work on the barracks as well

val, no really 20 years will be fine just get things right

I wish for small brown dog
_________________
"We're still flying"
"it's not much"
"It's enough"
Post Fri Nov 11, 2005 5:55 am
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pink-hippo
Counselor of the King
Counselor of the King




Joined: 21 Apr 2005
Posts: 351
Location: Val's hairy legs
   

Granted. The horny dog dresses you up as a princess and makes you do a strip dance in front of the audience at RPGDot. Now if we can get an autograph from you ...

quote:
Originally posted by piln
Mr & Mrs. Johnsons' parrot? Decapitated ... Old Mrs. Lloyd's Chinchilla? Exploded in a puff of white fur ... Benny the chameleon? Sucking chest wound ... Stacey's pet duck ... died screaming.


-_-;;

I wish piln will get sued by Animal Abuse Association.

Edith: ... Bah. >_>


Last edited by pink-hippo on Fri Nov 11, 2005 10:19 pm; edited 1 time in total
Post Fri Nov 11, 2005 5:56 am
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Risen From Ashes




Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA
   

Granted, but PETA wants him first. They drag him out into the street and beat him with sticks.

I wish my digital camera could use memory cards with more storage space.
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound=
Post Fri Nov 11, 2005 6:14 am
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piln
High Emperor
High Emperor




Joined: 22 May 2003
Posts: 906
Location: Leeds, UK
   

B-b-b-but... (ow!) ...it wasn't me, it was weirdo... (ooff!) ...ya gotta believe me... (urk!) ...it happened just like I telled it!


Ahem. [regains composure]



Granted, Val, your camera is thus upgraded and you order more storage to take advantage. But your new high-capacity memory thingie is so cavernous, it takes you several hours to find each photo. It's like looking for a micro machine in a 30-storey car park (alarm bells rang when the card was delivered with a "free gift" divining rod). Also, your camera goes nuts with the extra space and decides to give each picture a resolution of 2 or 3 billion x whatever; it takes half an hour to zoom out to a size that will fit on your monitor, and after a few days of this a disgruntled Photoshop packs its bags and leaves. Your camera starts saving its own MP3s and pirate movies in your storage space, and invites all its friends to do the same. Squatters move in. Eventually, the density* of data crammed into your tiny memory card becomes so great, the camera implodes and turns into a black hole. So there.



* it's a little-known** fact that 1 byte weighs apporximately 0.0001 grams

** by "little-known," I mean nobody knows it except me - until now!!!




Ummm... I wish I hadn't eaten that kitten
Post Fri Nov 11, 2005 6:04 pm
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pink-hippo
Counselor of the King
Counselor of the King




Joined: 21 Apr 2005
Posts: 351
Location: Val's hairy legs
   

Don't worry. Cats are carnivores. They will escape from your dungeon by eating you inside out. I wonder if they will save some of your flesh for the salsa monster.

I wish Val and her salsa monster have the opportunity to taste piln's flesh.
Post Fri Nov 11, 2005 10:26 pm
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Risen From Ashes




Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA
   

Granted, I invite piln over for a barbeque, but fail to mention that he is the main course. The salsa monster shall eat well tonight.

I wish that my watch was still working.
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound=
Post Sat Nov 12, 2005 2:22 am
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Kamahl
King of Spam
King of Spam




Joined: 29 Apr 2005
Posts: 1668
Location: Slovenia-Ljubljana
   

granted and u miss everything thats importent to u your date etc or u just die now pick


i wish for telepacy
_________________
Destroy the dark side, we will
De duistere zijde vernietigen, we zullen
Uničili temno stran, bomo mi
die dunkle Seite zerstören, wir sollen
Post Sat Nov 12, 2005 10:14 am
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cptmaxon
High Emperor
High Emperor




Joined: 19 Jun 2003
Posts: 557
Location: Israel
   

quote:
Originally posted by Kamahl
i wish for telepacy


hmm what's that? , if you want telepathy you can't have it because your head is to small, we'll have to enlarge it first with the bone saw, now in order for the process to sucessed we'll have to it without any sedatives, so you'll be conscience the whole time, after your head is big enough, we'll put hte telepathy interface in your head even with the increase volume, we'll still have to cut some of your brain out(not to worry nothing to important, a telepath doesn't really need to talk right? ) and then when it's over volia kamahl you are a telepath , a mute one with a huge head but still a telepath...

I wish for a better computer
_________________
"We're still flying"
"it's not much"
"It's enough"
Post Sat Nov 12, 2005 5:42 pm
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Krzychu
Hidden Character
Hidden Character




Joined: 25 May 2002
Posts: 1738
Location: It is my little secret.
   

quote:
Originally posted by Val
Granted, I invite piln over for a barbeque, but fail to mention that he is the main course. The salsa monster shall eat well tonight.

Cheater! You didn't corrupt the wish! Too good to spoil was it?
Err, no, I don't want to meet the salsa monster again. I'll go now.

@cptmaxon: Granted. A super computer from the future appears out of thin air. You can run anything on it - no matter how new or old it is, and it has some insane net connection that allows you to download gigabytes of data in a matter of minutes. But there's one thing you don't know. The computer is really a monster pretending to be a machine. After a couple of happy days the monster gets bored of you and now every time you come near, the keyboard tries to bite your fingers!

I wish for a cup of perfect tea!
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=Member of the Nonflamers' Guild=
Post Sat Nov 12, 2005 7:07 pm
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Risen From Ashes




Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA
   

Granted, your perfect cup of very hot tea arrives, but the waitress spills it down the front of your pants.



I wish for a bag of cotton balls, I seem to have run out.
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound=
Post Sat Nov 12, 2005 10:35 pm
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