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LOTR: EQ Style
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RPGDot Forums > Absolutely Off Topic

Author Thread
Ozymandias
Leader of the Senate
Leader of the Senate




Joined: 26 Apr 2003
Posts: 319
Location: Otherland
LOTR: EQ Style
   

You might find this amusing if you're familiar with Everquest:


SCENE: Rivendell. Elrond is studying.

GANDALF: Ach! Damn it!

ELROND: Gandalf! Where did you come from? ... You're naked.

GANDALF: Stupid halflings who can't play their class,
that's what happened.

ELROND: What? Where?

GANDALF: Moria. We were in the safe hall at Balin's Tomb
and Aragorn was going to pull some orcs to clear the way
to the zoneout.

ELROND: Which halfling messed it up? Frodo?

GANDALF: No, it was Pippin. I didn't even want to bring
him along but Frodo did insist. Aragorn was going to pull
some orcs but out comes Pippin to 'see what Aragorn was
doing' and manages to aggro half the zone.

ELROND: So you got wiped out by a horde of orcs? Yuck.

GANDALF: Oh, no. They were green to most of us, so we cut
through them all right. I was impressed by Legolas' bow
crits. But then the Cave Troll got aggroed.

ELROND: But there were nine of you, you could have handled
the cave troll.

GANDALF: Oh, and we did. Except Frodo didn't know how to
manage aggro properly. The troll started beating on him.

ELROND: Oh, no. Poor Frodo.

GANDALF: No, actually, Frodo was fine. He had a mithril
chain tunic on.

ELROND: Jeez, just because he's friends with Bilbo, does
Bilbo have to twink him like that?

GANDALF: Yeah, no kidding. So the troll ran and Pippin of
course forgets to snare.

ELROND: Aragorn's a ranger, why didn't he snare?

GANDALF: He was our main tank and was busy keeping the
orcs aggroed on him. Pippin was just sleeping on the job.
So the troll ran, and before we finally cut him down, he
chain aggroed the Balrog.

ELROND: Oh, no. Stupid halfling dr00ds.

GANDALF: Yeah. So naturally, I decided to take it on the
chin. I told everyone to run and I tried to hold off the
Balrog by rooting him.

ELROND: And he got you.

GANDALF: No, actually, I had my shield up, and I just
chain-nuked him.

ELROND: You SOLOED the Balrog? Wow.

GANDALF: Yeah, one hell of an XP hit too. But then when
he fell, I turned and slipped off the ledge. I 10Ked when
I hit the bottom of the Balrog pit. Didn't even have chance
to loot his corpse. And there went the XP from the orcs,
the troll, AND the Balrog. Stupid Verant.

ELROND: Your corpse is in the bottom of the Balrog pit?

GANDALF: Yeah. But no worries, I think I know a way to drag
it out of there.

ELROND: That's good.

GANDALF: So, can I bum a SoW off you for a CR? I want to
get back there before the Balrog respawns.

ELROND: This is Rivendell. We're high elves. The wood elves
are in Lothlorien.

GANDALF: Nadgers. Which is where we were headed in the
first place. Oh well, I'm a wizard at least, and there's
a portal not too far from there.

ELROND: Good luck on your CR. Why were you hanging out
with those noobs anyway?

GANDALF: I promised Frodo I'd powerlevel him in exchange
for him completing the Cracks of Doom quest with me. He
has the quest piece - the One Ring.

ELROND: That's NO DROP, isn't it?

GANDALF: Yeah.

ELROND: What do you get for completing that quest?

GANDALF: Robe of the White and Staff of the White. Those
would be serious upgrades to my Grey robe and staff. I've
had this gear for way too many levels anyway.

ELROND: Nice.

GANDALF: Anyway, I'd better go. Do you think you could
get someone to go to the Moria zone to rez me once I get my
corpse pulled there?

ELROND: I'll try to find a guildie.

GANDALF: Thanks.
_________________
"There is no way around it. Correct is correct. I am correct, therefore I win."
Roqua


Disclaimer: I can not be held responsible for anything whatsoever as a result of you reading this post.
Post Tue Mar 23, 2004 2:09 pm
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Val
Risen From Ashes
Risen From Ashes




Joined: 18 Feb 2002
Posts: 14724
Location: Utah, USA
   

Nice!
_________________
Freeeeeeedom! Thank heavens it's summer!
What do I have to show for my hard work? A piece of paper! Wee!
=Guardian, Moderator, UltimaDot Newshound=
Post Tue Mar 23, 2004 5:20 pm
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Secret Agent Lawanda
The last thing you see...
The last thing you see...




Joined: 23 Oct 2003
Posts: 1041
Location: World of Darkness (LA)
   

LOL!
_________________
-=Professional Secret Agent=-
Moderator of The Anime and Manga Fan Club
Post Thu Mar 25, 2004 1:34 am
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